Menopause and Melanin
A Scientific Exposition/Rebuttal by Dr. James Dewey Watson,
Nobel Prize Winner 1962, Physiology or Medicine
Ladies and Gentlemen, Esteemed Colleagues, Students of Genetics and Medicine:
As many of you already know, I received the Nobel Prize for my co-discovery of the structure of DNA. I’ve been the chancellor at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory in the United States, where I created a research environment unparalleled in the world of science. There, we prided ourselves for our non-profit research dedicated to exploring biology and genetics, advancing our ability to diagnose and treat cancers, neurological diseases and other causes of human suffering.
But that’s not good enough for some people, is it? Some people have to get their knickers in a twist over the following statements I made recently:
1) I am “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa” because “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours – whereas all the testing says ‘not really.’”
2) “Our wanting to reserve equal powers of reason as some universal heritage of humanity will not be enough to make it so,” because “”people who have to deal with black employees find this not true.”
In simpler words, what I’m saying is this: people whose ancestors come from Africa are just not as smart as people whose ancestors don’t come from Africa. We have indisputable proof of this, because of their test scores, which are consistently lower than everyone else’s.
Boy, you’d think I’d said something terrible, the way some people are carrying on. I even had to resign my post today as chancellor at CSHL, a centre I helped put on the map, simply by my being on staff there. Those ungrateful weasels.
What’s really got my goat however, are the comments made by two female bloggers. One, a young law pupil, being honoured at Brown University, comes across as intelligent, passionate about social change and dedicated in her quest to lead a purposeful life, but in actuality is a sassy whippersnapper who needs her cute little ‘tushie’ spanked. And I’m just the man to do it.
She called me a “senile old fogey.” And who does she think she is? Does she have a Nobel Prize? (Not yet.)
I do. And would they give a Nobel Prize to someone who doesn’t deserve it? Certainly not.
However, even more irritating than the law student’s remarks, were those made by a former New York City Public school teacher, Patricia Volonakis Davis, the self-proclaimed “doctor of Patrichism,” who stated, “Just ignore him.”
How dare she?
I took care of her, though. I took over her blog today. The second thing I did was ring her up and ask her what-in-the-Sam-Hill did she think she was doing telling people to “ignore” me?
‘Dr.’Davis, in what I can only describe as a diatribe, then said that when she was teaching at an inner city school in New York City, she’d observed the following about standardized tests:
1) The black children who tested poorly on exams were often children who hadn’t eaten breakfast, or had had one consisting of sugary cakes and coffee. This was because their parents had to go out early to work, or worked nights at minimum wage jobs and left the children unsupervised, to get ready for school on their own. Others were simply too poor to eat before they came to school. Some did not have reasonable bedtimes. Lack of sleep, empty stomachs and/or high levels of sugar and caffeine in the bloodstream prevalent in lower-income, unsupervised middle-graders, does not make for controlled test conditions.
2) Black children who had dyslexia also scored low on exams, because their learning differences were purposely misdiagnosed by the school examiners. That was because in New York State at the time, students with certain learning differences, such as dyslexia, could be assisted only by specially-trained ‘outside’ teachers. In order to prevent spending school funds on ‘outside’ teachers and in order for special-ed teachers to maintain the number of pupils required to support the need for their special-ed classes, children who had dyslexia were deliberately placed in with teachers who were not trained to help them improve their scores. ADHD was also not taken into consideration and often left undiagnosed by teachers, as well as by uneducated parents.
3) Testing conditions were chaotic. Tenured teachers showed up late to proctor exams because they knew they couldn’t lose their positions over it and because they believed wholeheartedly that the pupils were bound to do poorly, regardless of test conditions. One example was of a proctor who showed up over ten minutes late to a class that had been painstaking tutored for the test by their classroom teacher. Though they achieved high scores whilst in her classroom environment, the unsupervised pupils grew bored waiting for the proctor and decided that a brilliant way to pass the time would be to pull off all the chewed gum stuck under the desks, roll it into one big ball and hit the blackboard with it. The giant ball of old chewing gum bounced back and one student (black) was hit with it. He had a swollen eye as a result, but was told to take the test anyway. The test started almost twenty minutes late in that particular class (tests are timed and all classes must finish together, by law) and the pupil with the swollen eye who’d scored an 80% in classroom practice tests, got a 49% on the actual exam. The rest of the class lost twenty minutes of time to answer their questions and scored lower than on their practice tests, as well.
4) Extra federal funds (called Chapter 11 funds) were issued proportionately to the schools, based on the number of pupils below the 50 percentile in reading, writing and math. The more pupils per school at these low levels (based on their test scores) the more funds the school was given. There was no way the federal government could ever determine what the funds were actually being spent on, or how the tests had been administered at every public school.
Dr. Davis had a lot more to say than this, including some stuff about parental “modelling,” average parental age and education, as well as the fear some black students admitted to having that if they did well on tests, they’d be mocked by their peers for trying to be “white,” but I say it’s all “poppycock.”
For starters, let’s have a look at this woman:
In her photo, she (a) has crows’ feet, therefore it’s logical to conclude she is (b) not a young woman.
If a, then b.
She (c) is also not smiling.
If we have the above ( a b + c) it’s logical to conclude that she is d) peri-menopausal:
(a b + c) = d
And we all know that peri-menopausal women are unfeminine, infertile, bloated, illogical and unless we feed them volumes of chocolate and apple martinis, downright nasty.
Consequently, Dr. Davis’ conclusions come from nothing more than her being an old, dried-up, smarty-pants bitch.
On the other hand, my conclusions that those of African ancestry are not as smart as everyone else, are based on true scientific methodology. Obviously we couldn’t administer standardised tests to every black on the African continent, because they’re all very busy killing each other in civil wars, recruiting children to become mercenaries, stealing diamonds back and forth and selling them to Americans, Dutch and English merchants and getting AIDS, that they don’t have the time to sit down and learn how to read and write. Especially in English.
However, we did have a control group and in that group, my team of biologists and genetic researchers were able to conclude that the more melanin someone is born with, as evidenced by the presence of darker or lighter “coffee-colour” of the dermal tissue (skin) the less intelligent they are. The pigment directly affects the brain function.
Light Coffee- Halle BerryThe following chart will demonstrate that undeniably. I’ve included photos of several African-Americans who have “light- to deep coffee skin tone,” STRICTLY for reference in correlating the test scores to the skin colour:
Test Scores in Reading, Writing and Intelligence:
Darkest Coffee– 59% below average. Many of those in this colour group could not spell the words, “astronaut” or “Challenger hero.”
Dark Coffee – 49% below average. Those in this group had trouble writing out the “I Have a Dream,” speech.
Medium-Coffee – 40 % below average. Could identify and write the “I Have a Dream Speech” but had trouble with the definition of “empowered female.”
Light Coffee– 20% below average. Knew all of the above, but had some trouble remembering the name of the character, Cliff Huxtable, played by Bill Cosby on The Bill Cosby Show.
As you can see, the lighter the skin, the higher the test score. Therefore we can conclude quite plausibly that those with no skin pigment whatsoever, would be the smartest people on earth.
And so as I go out on my own, after my fifty years at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory, I would like to introduce to you my new partner in genetic research, Edgar Winter:
Edgar Winter -The Most Intelligent Human Being
Edgar, who has albinism, did not go into the sciences as a young man. He was in the arts, a “blues and metal musician.” But it was evident even in this field, that he was brilliant and well-read, because the title of his hit album, They Only Come Out at Night, is in perfect verb agreement and his most popular tune, Frankenstein, was named for Mary Shelley’s classic work of literature.
Further, those with the most intelligence will see, quite clearly, really, that my original hypotheses and eventual conclusions were brought about by well-conducted and sound research.
Skeptics be damned.
James D. Watson
On my retirement, October 25, 2007
Is this real? Did he really write this?
Why, of course he did, And, Edgar Winter is really his new lab partner.
Well said, Patricia. Maybe Watson should read the thoughts of this black man. His Cosmic Perspective article contains some of the wisest words I've ever read.
Funny.
gosh, dr watson SURE is cranky. hehe. 😛
Thank you. High praise from a person I consider an apt judge of literary merit.
He sure is. A cranky, sexist, racist. Do you know the poor woman who helped him in his research, died of ovarian cancer and never got part of that Nobel Prize? It really just irks me. You are so lucky to live in Orange County, btw. I love it down there. My stepson was studying at Redlands. You are so close to Disneyland. Mia's going to love it when she's older.
I'll have to read it tonight. I'm already impressed just by his resume. By the way, we heard about Howard and the 'rabbits' here. Doesn't have much of a sense of humour, does he?
wow. i did not know that about the woman…i love orange county… even if it is a bit sterile… and superficial… and … yeah. there are a lot of negative things i could say about oc, but for the most part i do love it. 🙂
They say that about where I live, too. that it's superficial' I don't know, I think it depends on the mood I'm in whether I agree with it or not. : )
Bill Bryson thought he had missed his calling and should have been an undertaker. The way he's going in the campaign, he is well on the way to burying himself politically.
Excellent piece of satire, Patricia. Really funny.
Senility is a tragic thing to watch. I think your advice was the best you could offer without tear his cred to pieces but I see he insists on making a dick of himself. I guess he must have another book due for release.I was amazed to hear this item come up on my morning breakfast radio station but very pleased with their response. They called on Robyn Williams from Radio National's Science Show to respond. Robyn has interviewed Watson several times and had a few observations to make about him and the other member of the Nobel prize winning team. According to Williams, the real cleverness resided in the other half of the team. He did mention that Watson likes to make outrageous statements then feign astonishment at the reaction.Love the egotistical opening by Watson. You know someone is really struggling when they have to reach back into history to self promote their cred. Obviously the value of his arguments need a little extra help.There is nothing new in sensationalist statements in race matters and nothing new in them all falling over under closer investigation. There is also nothing new in someone making silly statements to flog off their next book either. But it's a real tragedy when someone stirs up more death and destruction simply for a few more dollars in their retirement fund.
🙂 I am quite blonde…haha!! 🙂 Very funny satire! 🙂
LMAO! This is fantastic… I laughed out loud at so many points! Great writing, great creativity and so much perspective. Thanks, Patricia. The best way to make a point is with some humour and pizzazz.
I am so glad you see this the way I do. I am actually furious about this, because I taught school for many years. To see how underpriviliged some children are, how they struggle with subcultural mores, while at the same time have to put up with substandard living conditions and substandard educators who really let them down and then to read about some lucky sod who had excellent lab partners, that they're "less intelligent," is really disturbing.Further, if you read about Rosalind Franklin and what she went through, it's heartbreaking. But I try to put things humourously because its much more palatable for most of us than somebody ranting and raving. I also was brought up to have a lot of respect for the wisdom of older people and I have an empathy with those who struggle with aging issues,like senility ,etc.I don't think he's senile, though and I don't think he's earned my respect, despite his prize. I appreciate his contribution, but he's benefited enormously from it. Why do some use their positions of wealth and prestige for the betterment of us all and others just for their own gratification?
I was going to say that in my first reply! – Something like, "Are you having a blonde moment?" But, I thought you might get ticked off. My best friend is a blonde and she gets really annoyed if too many blonde jokes fly around. She has a lapel pin that says, "Blonde jokes are short, so men can remember them." You're probably are not old enough to remember Edgar Winter, though.
You inspired it. At first I was just mildly annoyed by the commentary and then the more I thought about it, the more it upset me. I thought about that man the whole time I was at the conference and how to express what I was feeling. I researched his lab partner, Rosalind Franklin and felt ill after I read about what she'd been through. I just missed this sort of sexism by one generation. It's soo different for women today, thank God. But, I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you very much, Kirk. I hoped you would like it.
It's ironic that I started reading your blog and Peter's and learning about Australian politics around the same time Howard started negotiating with Putin and now Putin is hand-in-hand with Ahmadinejad. Learning about Australia from you , Peter and EvilWombatWoman seemed like reading first-hand accounts travel books. But we are all undeniably connected no matter how far apart we live.
heh! I don't mind blonde jokes that much…but some people can go overboard on them, though! I used to get harassed much by a friend of mine….and he was blonde too! haha! Actually he moved to Long Beach, from here, a couple of years ago.
Blonde brain is same as mommy brain, prego brain, menopause brain, and busy brain…..all same! 🙂
I am embarrassed to say that I am not familiar with Edgar Winter or Dr. Watson….which is why it was easy for me to be duped…..although, in my defense, I did think it was a satire but had to check to be sure as there have been a few times where I thought something was a satire and it wasn't! haha! 🙂
…all good! 🙂
Well, neither of those things is anything to be embarrased about certainly. How could everyone possibly know every reference? I think from the essay, it's now clear who James Watson is and what he said this week that forced him into retirement. If you read Lightchaser's blog, she brought thsi up last week and it had me steaming all week. But, I always think a point's more effective when made with a little levity. Edgar Winter and Johnny Winter are musicians who were at the top of their game in the seventies. Unlike many others from that time period, they sort of faded out and are now known to only certain age groups or die-hard fans. It was interesting because they looked enough alike to be twins, but they were three years apart. Both had albinism,which really made them stand out, as they had shoulder length blonde-white hair and very light skin and eyes. They always wore tight black leather.Their music was really kick ass. Edgar Winter did Frankenstein, which is still played on rock stations and which you've probably heard, but just don't know by name. I don't know how to link music yet, but you could probably search for it. I don't know what kind of music you like, but I don't think you'd be sorry. It really gets you moving, that piece. Unfortunately, albinism is not fun. It causes serious difficulties.I admired them because they turned it into a plus for themselves, by playing on their own 'look.'
The funny thing is, we all have our 'blonde' moments. I sometimes think I'm scatterbrained because I am getting closer to menopause, but my friends assure me it's not old age, because I've always been scatterbrained. ; )
[esto es genial]
"Bitter over Holmes" That was really good. : )
To Mr Watson, in case the "dried up smarty-pants bitch" hasn't reclaimed her blog yet.
While I think that your assertions on lower test scores equaling lower intelligence have logic I would like to add another variable to your reasoning.
It is documented that individuals with darker skin toes were smaller of stature during the pre-slavery times around the 1600's, evidence of such can still be found today amongst the pigmy tribes of Africa. However, here in America some of the largest men and women in existance are of African decent and have "coffee" colored skin. This is a result of breeding programs developed in the 17 and 1800's by individuals who profited from the use of black slaves. The intent of these programs were to create stronger more efficient slaves.
I pose that perhaps these slavers in an attempt to create a "simpler" slave that was less distraught by his or her menial existance might have factored in intelligence to their breeding programs, which would explain why test scores are low in modern times.
I must say though that it was lucky that these breeding programs never created a specimen with a preternatural degree of flexibility… otherwise I daresay the program would likely have backfired as detailed in my own thesis.
This comment is very clever. I had to read it twice to be sure you weren't serious. I've also read your blog on flexibility and that was hilarious, too. Oh, just so we're clear, this is not Watson responding. This is the "DUSPB." ; )
This is a good piece Patricia. I'd actually heard about this on the news and remember feeling kinda sorry for this guy because he seemed really apologetic for his ignorance. But it also reminded me that there are so many situations in which people distort facts to "prove" things….happens in religion all the time 😉
You're a wonderful writer. I'd read this post when you first posted but hadn't commented because I went off searching for more information about it on the web and got sidetracked so thx for the pm
I worried about this piece a bit on many levels.I appreciate that you took the time to comment on it for me. I do admire your compassion for him, but cannot share it, because of his position and because a man of his educational background simply has to know what he's saying is false and what broad effects it can have. Apparently, he's gotten away with this sort of chatter all his professional life. This time, soemone decided to put an end to his public platform and rightly so, in my opinion. Thanks for writing.
Hi Patricia,Just read the link about Rosalind Franklin and isn't it typical of so many other women in science? The older I get the sceptical I get of Awards from years gone by.Back on the Watson attitude, I wonder why folk think it's not serious. A couple of rat bag reports and a healthy dose of "conspiracy theory" and the Neo Nazis are up and running again.We get the same sort of thing here. You keep a group of folk under duress then measure them under tests designed for folk under ideal conditions then claim the group are sub human.It has always been so and is definitely premeditated but those enjoying the top end of conditions.
"You keep a group of folk under duress then measure them under tests designed for folk under ideal conditions then claim the group are sub human."
That's it all right and that's what's really troubling about all of this. On the other hand, things have changed drastically for women in just two generations.Something to hold onto, I suppose. By the way, I will be over to visit, because I've just had a chat with my husband and I need to make a further comment…
Hi, Snowy,
You might fnd this interesting. Neil DeGrasse Tyson was asked to comment on Watson's remarks, by a morning news station here in the US. His reply was as follows:
"I have no particular interest in commenting. Life is too short to combat the old guard. Would rather educate people the right way to begin with."
What do you think of that? I have to admit it explains why he is able to stay so focused on his own work and life. He, as they say, "Doesn't sweat the small stuff." But I think the focus should be on the testing conditions…
Thanks for that, Patricia. Of course he's right, but I do agree with you that we should be taking it up to those who draw conclusions to suit their prejudice using data from dodgy sources.
"using data from dodgy sources." I like the way that phrase rolls. "God botherers" is good one, too. I'll have to pop in and see what that's all about. : )
This reminds me a bit of the researcher who was on Tyra last week (forgive me, I have to watch it for work) claiming that he could figure out if you were a homosexual or not based on things such as hair pattern, finger length, voice and walk. It was slightly appalling to see this broken down on national daytime television for all the inbred, unemployed hicks who hate homosexuals already. Tyra, aware of this (the only time I have ever seen that woman act self aware in my life), kept bringing up the fact that this researched seemed silly and harmful… almost to the point that I started to feel bad for the poor dude. He looked like he knew he was going to have a tough time back at the lab on Monday.
Really? This happened on the Tyra show? Now I have to research it. Why do you have to watch it for work? That sounds intriguing. (BTW- I snet your little "dog dance" film to about three dozen people, Everybody thought it was a scream.)
This was really good Patricia. Even those with a Nobel Prize could stand to learn a lesson about equality and Civil Rights.
Civil rights…I remember those. Didn't we all have them in the United States before George W. Bush?