Roger Moore as The Saint
Once upon a time, a man died and went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter was waiting for him at the Holy Gates.
“I’m very sorry,” said Saint Pete, “but I can’t let you in.”
The man was shocked and very disappointed. “Why not, Saint Peter?” he asked. “Wasn’t I a good man on Earth?”
“You were a very good man, indeed,” replied Saint Pete.“But here’s what your problem was – you could not stop yourself from telling other people how to lead their lives. If they were making a mistake of some kind, you felt compelled to point it out to them.”
Once again, the man was shocked by Saint Peter’s words. “But I don’t understand, Saint Peter. Why was this a bad thing? I was just trying to help them. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do on Earth – help people?”
“Not in this instance,” replied Saint Peter sternly. “You never learned to mind your own business. And for that reason, I’m afraid you’ll have to go to Hell.”
The man pleaded with Saint Pete. “Please, Saint Peter, I didn’t mean any harm. I was just trying to help, that’s all. I didn’t know I was doing a bad thing. Please, please, give me another chance?”
Saint Peter looked at the man and could see that he honestly hadn’t meant any harm. Because that was so, he thought that perhaps he might bend the rules…just this once. However, before he did, he would test the man’s sincerity. Unbeknownst to the man, of course.
“All right,” decided Saint Pete. “I’ll go to the Higher Ups and see what I can do. In the meantime, you wait in that room over there. Just go in, and close the door behind you.”
The room to which the man had been directed was large and empty, save for a bench. As directed, he closed the door as he went in, and sat on the bench, waiting for his verdict. And as he sat, he noticed there was a narrow, open archway which led to an anteroom at the far side, opposite to where he was sitting.
As he was pondering what might be in the anteroom, the door he’d closed opened, and an angel came in. He was carrying a very tall ladder.
“Hello,” said the angel. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. Do you mind if I come through? I’ve just got to take this ladder and leave it in that anteroom over there.”
“Please, go right ahead,” said the man. “You don’t need my permission.”
And then, an odd thing happened. The man watched as the angel walked across the room towards the anteroom, turned his ladder horizontally in his arms, and attempted to walk through the narrow archway with it. Naturally, he was unable to get through, as the ladder held horizontally was now much too wide.
The man observed with incredulity as the angel made attempt after attempt to get through the archway while holding the ladder thusly. Each time, the ends of the ladder banged against the wall on either side of the opening, propelling the angel backwards, and making quite a mess of the walls it kept hitting, in the process.
Naturally, after about fifteen minutes of this, the angel was winded and perspiring.
“Whew!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t realize this was going to be so difficult.”
The man couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you serious?” he blurted. “If you want to get through, hold the damn ladder vertically!”
The angel shook his head and looked at the man regretfully. “My friend,” he said, “this ladder’s not damned, but you are.”
And the next thing the man knew, he was in Hell.
_______________________
I can’t remember how old I was when my father told
me the story above, but I was still young enough that
my questions were only just starting to become
annoying to him. Those questions were on every
subject from “Why do you support the war in Vietnam?”
to “Why don’t you ever do anything to stop all the
terrible things going on in this house?”
Since he couldn’t seem to come up with any reasonable
answers for me, the parable above was an attempt to
stave off the inevitable, which was that my
questioning of him would eventually go
from annoying to unbearable… for both of us.
Even my response to this story was not what he’d
hoped. He thought I’d feel forewarned that my quixotic
nature was taking me closer to Hades every day. But
ironically, all it prompted was another litany of
questions: “What kind of angel is stupid enough to
behave like a human?” and “What kind of God would
send a man to Hell for questioning human stupidity?”
It wasn’t until many, many years later that I recognized
that my father had a point, though perhaps not in the
way he’d believed. Anyone at all, with an average
human intelligence, understands very well which
way one needs to hold a ladder in order to get it
through a narrow archway. But pretending that he
doesn’t, he accomplishes one thing – he can tell himself
he tried to get through with everything he had and
just couldn’t succeed.
The fact is, he doesn’t want to succeed. He says
he has to get through a door and deposit a ladder in
an anteroom, but he doesn’t truly want to.
He just wants to pretend to himself and everyone
else, that he really, really tried.
And because this is actually what he wants – that
illusion of the attempt of a completion of a ‘task’, which is
another word for a ‘change’ – rather than the actual
change – he doesn’t want anyone to point out to him
that his ‘attempt’ is in actuality no attempt at all.
He doesn’t need anyone getting in the way of
his self-deception. Like my father, it will more
than irritate him, because by pointing it out, making him aware that you are aware that he’s lying to himself, you will make him hate himself and, as a result, (especially if your own attempts at change are real, and your desire to help him is motivated out of genuine caring, rather than smug superiority) – he will hate you, too.
A fast way to hell, indeed.
Remember that the next time you
(metaphorically) observe an intelligent adult holding a ladder horizontally, trying to get through an archway.
Say nothing. Wish him “good luck,” and get out of his way.
Well…what if you INTENTIONALLY like prodding such people into “awareness” and are not disturbed by their instant hatred of you?
Then I am not really doing their business….just enjoying myself…their awakening is just a side-effect.
hence my apparently “evil” practices should secure me a seat in heaven…BWAHAHHAHA!!
See with the Angel I would have been more like:
“Wow…that looks pretty hard the way you’re doing it…jeez…lookit all that paint you’re bashing off the sides of the passage…I’m glad I’m not you, I’d hate to damage something up here in the ante-room to heaven….then again…I don’t know how it works up here…I suppose maybe no one gets upset about that sort of thing?
Say…you don’t suppose the repeated banging of the ladder has now made it unsafe huh? …Oh well i suppose that doesn’t matter we’re already dead here hahah… ” And so on….
kind of like a Columbo on crack 🙂
Wow. This makes so much sense and is SUCH a better attitude than my maudlin one. Thanks, G. I know you hate it when people agree with you – it kinda ruins all the fun, I can tell – but, thanks, anyway!
Gosh, I am SO that man! I *knew* I was going straight to hell… hehe.
I totally need to mind my own business. I’ve just recently started doing that. You know, I just don’t get involved now and wish people luck. No matter how retarded I think they’re being. hehe.
G – you will have to give Grace and me advice on how to do that. In short we WANT you to show us how to hold our ladders…
; D
@grrrace: I prefer to prod them without actually being helpful at all. It irritates them so much they occasionally wake up and actually improve their ways.
🙂
I know, I know, the Lord acts in mysterious ways. I like to think of myself as his personal little dark one..nyeh-he-he
Well that’s torn it for me, Patricia.
I was hoping to retire to hell and leave to “Do gooders” to duke it out upstairs.
You’ll have to start offering unsolicited advice, then, Pete.You are, after all, a DOCTOR. ; D
Hey Patricia.
I enjoyed the essay. I think busy-bodies are annoying, because it is impolite to point out mistakes or flaws. I do think the ladder thing was a must. The angel was being just plain nasty. The ladder banged into the wall repeatedly could also make the walls of heaven crumble.
In my life and in my family, I have come across far too many people holding ladders sideways. Sometimes I do it myself, unknowingly. I usually welcome the advice, but it’s still hard to tell when people actually know they are holding that ladder sideways or don’t.
Surely the way around it is to say “would you like my help?”. The trick after that is to try not to go ahead and offer it anyway if the answer is “no”, of course… 😉
You know, hadn’t thought of that. Seems too easy.
I thoight about that…but the norma is they would say no LOL
I just wonder about simply offering the help – not asking if he wants help just – doing it.
We watched a young girl run a stop sign today (riding a scooter).
We stopped just short of hitting her and watched her lay it down hard. She almost slid into the car. We pulled over and my husband helped her up first, (she pinned her ankle under the buddy peg.) Then he picked up the bike. He didn’t go to her and ask “would you like my help.” Nor did he say “next time do it this way). Soooooo…I think help and criticism are very different. (By the way she was alright.)
I usually just console them about how they might be having a bad time with the ladder today, but tomorrow will be better if they just hang in there. The new day brings new possibilities and if they just keep trying their best, they’ll get that ladder down the hallway. You can do it! Yay you! LOL
I’m such a motivational cheerleader…
I learned this lesson, not long ago, I have to say…
I’m so glad you linked your blog to FB, means I ll be able to read regularly now!
HUggzz
I think the overall message here should not be whether we should go about prodding and poking others engaged in self deception. What we can learn from this is that we *all* have been in a place at some point in our lives where we sabotage our own successes even if it is not the norm for us. The message here is that of being sensitive to others actions despite whether we are cognizant of what they are doing. Empathy is a difficult thing for a lot of people. It’s just we’re more sensitive to a person who is slashing at their arms with a razor than we are to someone who is doing something like making a career limiting comment. We all have our reasons. Ignorance may be bliss, but arrogance is not. Not everyone wants a cheer squad… sometimes not even the head cheerer.
This is a beautiful article Patricia. I love it. A parable… so perfect. Thanks so much for sharing it with us 🙂
to see your (so wise and right) words written here make me wanna go to vOx in find of your music and general presence.
Don’t miss you much as I listen to you almost every day 🙂 but miss knowing what s going on in your life ….
Regarding this, Patricia always puts into words (marvelous ones, as it goes) what I have been trying to unravell in my mind. Lots of human beings around me who (like MIchelle well said) don’t want/wont listen/get angry when pointed at their obvious failures.
I myself had my times.
I’m such a recluse these days, I tend to secure my entry in the gates of heaven by St Pete 😉
Hi MrsPeel 🙂
Where have you been? Not on vox anymore? Odd. I’m still there if you chose to pop by. I’m up to my same old tricks 🙂
love, xo