You know those emails that start with “Remember When…?” I don’t like those emails at all. Not only are they B-movie, nostalgia-in-a-can ─ “Milk delivered right to your door by the milkman!”, “Coca-cola in a glass bottle!” ─ they’re out and out dishonest, albeit in a ingratiatingly syrupy way. They mean to have us remember a reality that didn’t exist, that US life in the 50’s and 60’s was much better than it is today. From my perspective, that’s just not true. Yeah, the air was cleaner then, portions were smaller then and people were leaner then. Blah blah blah.
But am I the only one who remembers this:
Or, this:
Besides the racist and sexist actualities which permeated the 60’s and 70’s, my own reality was that it was just not as much fun to be a kid as it’s cracked up to be. Looking back I see that most people my parents’ age were more naïve than they should have been about many things. The world wasn’t any safer, our parents just perceived it to be. Regardless of their level of education, they were also a lot more provincial than even the least educated American today. And as a whole, that generation certainly seemed to be a lot less educated on how to parent. Below is my list of all the stuff I hated about being a kid, and I know I couldn’t have been the only one who had experiences like these:
1. Being forced to eat ALL that was served to me of my mother’s soggy macaroni and broccoli (a dish that had no cheese, no seasoning at all, was over-boiled and dripping with corn oil) while under threat of the wooden spoon she kept next to her plate.
2. Having to go to bed earlier than all my friends, who got to watch all the fun shows. They’d talk about them the next day at school, and all I could do was listen and seethe.
3. Getting punished on the weekend and not being allowed to see my one favorite show that was on before my bedtime, which was ─ yippee ─ a whole hour later than on weeknights.
4. Having to watch younger sibs. Having them hate me for that. Having to referee their arguments. Having them report to our parents what a lousy job of referring I did. Getting punished for doing a lousy job. (Wooden spoon again and, just for good measure, see number three.)
5. Having to come in the house in the summertime before it got dark.
6. Being forced to sit out in the backyard in the summertime for “a nice outdoor meal”, while caterpillars from the overhanging oak tree branches dropped onto the table, sometimes into my plate, and crawled under the bench where we sat, onto the backs of my thighs. And I was wearing shorts.
7. Not getting to pick out my own clothes. (See “wearing shorts.”)
8. Having someone else brush my hair. (Ouch!)
Now let’s move on to the teen years:
9. Being too fat to get picked for sports. (I guess fat is what happens when you’re forced to eat a half a pound of limp macaroni that’s been floating in oil.)
10. Being too fat to get invited to the prom, which was maybe for the best, because…
11. Not being allowed to go to the prom. Or to babysit. Or to attend sleepovers. Or go on school trips.
12. Having to wear those big ol’ round coke bottle glasses they made back in the day, until I was eighteen and old enough to buy a pair of contact lenses on my own.
And finally at Lucky 13─
13. Meeting my first husband at age 19, and getting married looong before I should.
Need I go on?
So when people my age talk about how much better things were when they were young, I think, “Seriously?” That just wasn’t my experience.
Sure, there are plenty of things I miss about being a little girl, but now that I’m old enough to eat what I want to eat, watch what I want to watch, and go to bed when I say I’m tired, now that the only things I have to live with are the decisions I make for myself, I, for one, am enjoying my life much more today than I did then.
That’s why for me these days are “the good old days.” Because I’m old, but I’m feelin’ good.
What about you?
Great post! I enjoyed that. I read through a new kids book yesterday (I’d link it but it isn’t published yet so there isn’t anything online yet) and remembered all the fun stuff I remember doing as a kid. But as I read through “The Misadventures of Phillip Isaac Penn” I remembered all the terrible things I had to deal with as a kid. Like bullies at the playground and teachers talking to you like you’re dumb.
I think what we really want when we say we want to be a kid again is to do all the awesome stuff we can do now as adults but without the responsibilities and the bills to pay!
“I think what we really want when we say we want to be a kid again is to do all the awesome stuff we can do now as adults but without the responsibilities and the bills to pay!”
Yes! Absolutely true! Or we want to do all the awesome stuff we did as a kid, without having adults to supervise us. And the funny thing is, we CAN still do most of that stuff, like climbing a tree or sitting outside late in the summertime, but I think we still have adults telling us not to—our own selves!
Thanks for commenting, Mariah.
Great post! I don’t miss being younger, either. I love the age I am and every year I get older, the happier I am. 😀
And so you should, you gorgeous girl! Thanks for commenting!
I heartily agree with your post here, Patricia. Life wasn’t better as a kid, especially having to listen to “other” adults views on race, war, and other prejudices. It was scary sometimes.
Although I do miss my grandparents.
Am glad I didn’t fall into the trap of your #13–meeting the first husband at age 19. I didn’t get married until I was much older.
Never thought about that, but you’re right- there was that aspect of hearing the racist commentary of the grown-ups, too.
So glad you didn’t make that same mistake I did!
Thanks for commenting!
Patricia,
Great post. Yes, I’m old enough to remember that we didn’t have car seats for children, seat belts were still considered “newfangled” contraptions, parents would pile kids in cars without real regard to capacity or safety, and there were no bike helmets. Heck I remember climbing in the hatchback of a Chevette in order to get home one time when there wasn’t any room in the backseat. Because, you know, I was small and could curl up in a ball in back. Good thing it wasn’t a Ford Pinto!
Omigosh, Linda! Yes! I remember all that,too. It was kind of fun sleeping stretched out in the back seat though. Little did we know….
Thanks for posting!
I liked the young years, playing out in the sunshine on my bike, calling for friends, being top of the class with Jen Merran. I would not do the teenage years again if you paid me, or not before 17 anyway, they were not my finest. Moody, hormonal, crap hair, braces, grungy clothes and parents evening where I inevitably got a rollocking because all the teachers said I should be spending less time being a clown and more time concentrating. And exams, all those awful exams. Nope, I’d not want to go back there for anything.
Hear! Hear, Vicola! And teachers ALWAYS say that about the best and brightest students, it seems!
mmm, as much as I love your writing, and the post is greatly written…am afraid my experience wasn’t like that at all… I agree with the first couple of photos, yes, not all was wine and roses, but it isn’t today either, instead of racism and segregationsim (however you spelll that in English) with the blacks, now is with any person vaguely connected with Islamic something…and them in return. We still have wars.
Please note, I’m not sayin it was better than, am saying is all the same…. and one huge difference from my life to yours…yep, I had some misunderstandings with my mum but I dont really blame her…when I was a CHILD? my mum’s and grandma’s food was amazing, I was actually allowed to wear whatever I wanted, and my time to go bed was reasonable…
the teenage years were a pian in the but ,but that’s because we are in disagreement with the world…
I wouldn’t go back and re live them, not that mad and is pointless because that s impossible…
But I o the extra mile to still have the milkman delivdr the milk to my door, I try as much as I can buying stuff that comes in glass…and I think kids are doing now at 13 whatever I was doing at 18 or 19….and am not sure that’s a good thing.
I had a great childhood, even though I had to battle a health condition first and *being different* after…
and wouodn’t change my teens for amy other person’s,
but I also think there were more idealists , even 20 years ago…not 50…I don’t see much improvimg …
Hi, Mrs. peel!
Thanks for commenting. You bring up some valid points. Sounds like you had a wonderful childhood, which is terrific. All of what we experience becomes part of us, you know? I think for the most part my point is that people long for things that no longer exist and this prevents them from moving forward and enjoying what is in the NOW. Yes, i agree that there are many things that are imperfect about our world today. I just don’t believe that things were necessarily better “then.”
I’m male and most likely somewhat older, but I think this post is spot on. Being a kid sucks for the simple reason that every aspect of your life is controlled by somebody. Even if you get to grow up in a great home you’re managed and controlled, not least in school. For instance, you’ll hear that such and such high school as a great library, but when during the day can most students be there? Lunchtime. That’s it–the 50 minutes between fourth and fifth period.
As for the evolution of cultural attitudes, one thing I particularly noticed throughout the 1970s was small kids whose access to snacks, soda, and other treats was severely limited by parents who had just come from the first flush of hippie counterculture. Though that initial counterculture almost always encouraged an increase in personal choice, some of those who went from there to the “granola ethic” often became food-nazis where their kids were concerned. “Do you have any idea how bad that is for you!?” I once heard a mother stridently ask her young son after he asked for a candy bar or something of that sort.
I disagree with you on the Coke bottles, though. Those were cool.
Yep. Even “free choice” is not free choice when you’re a kid. At least as an adult, we know we’re too lazy to think for ourselves! I don’t mind the coke bottles, i just didn’t want them as eye glasses. Let’s hear it for being grown up and for the new technology. BTW- I went over to your blog and loved the post about the house. The photos were amazing…
Thanks for commenting here.