In my lifetime, I've survived much pain that was deliberately inflicted upon me. As a child, I served as whipping boy to bitter adults, as a young wife, I played scapegoat to an ineffectual spouse, and in my career, I've been the subject of some malicious scrutiny by a few jealous colleagues and frenemies. Believe it or not, those are the people I have to thank for my eventual success. Because not only have I survived their maliciousness, I've thrived. And I confess that part of the reason I've done so has been not only for my own benefit, but out of sheer spite. There is something so incredibly gratifying about refusing to be in pain, refusing to be unfulfilled, refusing to be … [Read more...]
“Subscriber Unsubscribed,” or You Can’t Hide From the Chimp
SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING 101: 1) Collect a careful email list of friends, colleagues, subscribers. 2) Spend a full week culling everyone from said list you think even just "might" not want to hear from you. 3) Spend an anxiety-filled week writing and editing a stupid newsletter. 4) Send your stupid newsletter to list mentioned in Steps One and Two. 5) Check "Unsubscribe" page and discover to your mortification the names of people who forgot they signed up at your website for said newsletter, or whose names you somehow missed when culling your list, such as the receptionist desk at your gynecologist's office. Learn how polite these people … [Read more...]
Consent and Conversations with Young Children (or Why I Ask Permission for Cuddles at Night)
by Alexandra Roumbas Goldstein The other day I ended up staying late at work and heading out for dinner with some colleagues (friends, really and all, for what it’s worth, currently child free). While we were waiting for food I got a text from my husband about how our daughter’s bedtime had gone, and it listed the number of cuddles and kisses I could give her when I got home. I got some baffled looks at this, so I tried to explain. My daughter knows that the last thing I will do every night before I go to bed will be to stick my head around her door and check in on her. My commute is around an hour and a half long, so I inevitably miss a fair number of bedtimes, and therefore … [Read more...]
“No Color”
This is a true story. I once lived with a man in a rented flat that came with white walls. He told me that until we bought a house of our own, we shouldn't waste money painting any colors on those walls, because they weren't "ours." Somehow, we never got our own house. We lived in that flat for ten years. Ten years of no color on the walls. Ten years of no color in our lives at all. I finally left him. And when I did, I moved into another flat with white walls, but this time, the first thing I did was paint them. I put color everywhere---a blue wall in the bath, a red wall in the living room, a faux finish in the bedroom and trompe l'oeil in the kitchen. And when I was … [Read more...]
On Breaking Up and Breaking Through
Stay Strong. And keep walking forward towards a better future. … [Read more...]
What is Grime Blindness?
Grime Blindness is a highly contagious disease wherein the patient suffers from the inability to see or recognize domestic uncleanliness, such as dirty clothing thrown on the floor, crusty dishes in a sink and smelly trash that needs to be taken out. Although women have been known to develop Grime Blindness, more males than females seem to become infected with it and for longer periods of time. It generally shows itself in adolescence, gets worse during one's 20s when the condition can escalate into College Cruddiness, a more severe stage of the disease wherein every young person in the dorm can become infected, not only by the inability to see dirt, but by additional symptoms that may … [Read more...]
Before You Feed Indiana’s Christians to the Lions, Read This
by Lindsey Keesling Indiana. Oh, Indiana. As a Christian writer over the past week since the Governor’s support of The Religious Freedom Restoration Act, I’ve been drowned in a barrage of posts from my Indiana-based friends expressing outrage and dismay at legislation that doesn’t represent them. The comments I’ve heard have ranged from the mild, “I never thought this would go through” to the brutal, “I feel like the state senate has turned against us and they aren’t going to stop until Indiana is stripped down to nothing but spare parts for big business.” For those who don’t currently live in Indiana and aren’t terribly immersed in state politics, let me just say that Indiana has a … [Read more...]
Her Cat or Her Greek Husband? (Satire)
I invented a game. It’s called, “Her Cat or Her Greek Husband?” I give you actual complaints I’ve heard from various women (including complaints I myself made, when I was married to a Greek), and you guess whether each woman was talking about her cat or her old-fashioned Greek husband. Want to play? Okay, then, here goes: 1. He is unemotionally available. 2. He hisses at all the neighbors. 3. He is constantly preening and grooming himself. 4. When my family comes over, he just walks away and goes into another room without even bothering to say hello first. 5. My prettiest friends complain that he sits too close to them, purrs, and gets his hair all over … [Read more...]