Dear Santa:
I hope all is well with you. Been meaning to write for a while about this: “Naughty or nice,” by what definition, specifically? After decades of observing who gets lots of presents and who gets none, I’m still not clear on the parameters. Could you clarify?
Yours sincerely,
Patricia V. Davis
Dear Patricia, I am sorry to say that the Mr Claus you probably know was retired by the board with many thanks and an 18k gold watch several years ago. We of course have a committee to determine Naughty and Nice now, composed of members appointed by the shareholders. Unfortunately at the last meeting that I attended, the old men on the committee spent most of their time trying to find which of them had the longest beard. We would be most happy to hire new members, bearded of course, to determine Naughty and Nice. Until then our shareholders are picking Naughty and Nice by random lot via our computer. Hacking by Russians though keeps the computer coming up with “Mango Mussolini” repeatedly. We hope our Chinese support team can fix this soon.
Warmest Regards
SantaCorp Ltd
One of the best comments in reply to one of my posts, ever.