![First day of school foversouls on flickr[1]](http://patriciavolonakisdavis.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/6a00d4143667316a4700e398c742960002.jpg "First day of school foversouls on flickr[1]")
“Look harder.”
Gee…did I just hear you say that again? You’re an English teacher. Surely you must know that one can’t look “harder” at written words on a page.
One can look “longer,” delve more deeply into the meaning of those words, if one can read them, that is, but one can’t look “harder.”
Yet, at least once a week, with distaste and fury layered through your voice, you say it to one of your first-year (seventh grade) pupils.
A girl today, I see.
A twelve-year old girl, whose life is already a misery. On the edge of puberty, her breasts feel sore all the time and, much to her constant mortification, one is growing faster than the other. No matter what blouse she wears to school, this is noticeable. The boys in her class often point to her chest, whispering and laughing behind her back. She hears them and wants to die. She feels she has nothing to balance this physical “anomaly” because to her mind, the other girls in her class are so pretty and sophisticated compared to her. The other girls in her class know how to flirt, while she just gets tongue-tied. And while the other girls in her class still maintain that smooth, soft complexion of their baby years, her face is already always breaking out.
Apart from her uneven breasts and pimples, her feelings of social ineptitude, she’s “stupid,” she’s been told.
By her older brother, when she can’t read the ingredients on their box of breakfast cereal, or when, in a rush of shyness, she’s struck mute when his friends come over to visit. “Don’t pay any attention to my sister. She’s stupid,” is his way of explaining her silence to them.
Her mother agrees. Oh, not that her mother actually says the word out loud, she just looks at her daughter pityingly when shown her marks. “Well, honey,” mother sighs, “I guess not everybody can be good at school.”
But, this young girl is not “stupid.” She has dyslexia.
When you, her teacher, place this before her:
“…after he was ushered into this world of sorrow and trouble, by the parish surgeon, it remained a matter of considerable doubt whether the child would survive to bear any name at all; in which case it is somewhat more than probable that these memoirs would never have appeared…”
This is what she sees:
“…after he saw ushereb otni this worlp of worros and rtoudle, by the barisp noeqrus, ti remaineb a rettam of consiberadle boubt whether eht chilp pluow survive ot dear yna name ta all; in which esac ti si tahwemos more than bropaple taht these sriomem woulp reven have addearep…”
Yet, all throughout her seven years of schooling so far, not one person in her life has noticed. Her brother, being a child, couldn’t notice. Her mother, not having had much education herself, might not notice. But you – her teacher? Why didn’t you notice?
I know why. You really didn’t want to be a teacher, did you? You wanted to be…hmmm…let me guess…a writer? …An actor, maybe?
And because the agents didn’t knock down your door in their enthusiasm, because the studios didn’t shower you with movie contracts, you “fell back” on teaching, didn’t you? Someone, some career counsellor somewhere, or even another teacher perhaps, advised you, “You can use your M.A degree. You just need to take a few education courses. It has great benefits and you get your summers off,” didn’t they?
And you thought about it. You thought that the salary wasn’t too bad, especially for the amount of effort you were planning to put into it. Better than being a waiter, anyway. You also realised that the teaching day, ending at 3 p.m., would give you just enough time to play at your real interests. And on a subconscious level, you knew that if you didn’t succeed at them then, you could always blame it on the fact that you, “had no time, you had to teach.”
Then the years went by, faster than you could have believed. You never got that publishing contract and Johnny Depp got all your good roles. So your disgust with Johnny, with Random House and with yourself, grew.
Eventually that disgust manifested itself into an abiding revulsion for your pupils. In particular, this little girl in front of you now, who is flushed through with agonized humiliation because, on top of everything else she thinks she should be and isn’t, she can’t read Charles Dickens and she knows you loathe her for it.
In your loathing, you’ll go one step further. You will make sure all her classmates detest her for it, too:
“I can’t believe this. Are you just going to sit there? Read it. We’re all waiting for you to say something.”
I understand you believe you should be able to express what you feel, at the very least. At least, here – in a classroom full of twelve-year-olds, you are in charge. You can say whatever you want and no one can stop you, because you have tenure, another job perk of your insufferable ‘career.’ So the worst that can happen is that you’ll get a lecture from the headmaster if any one of your pupils, or their parents has the temerity to complain. Which they hardly ever do.
Last week, it was a boy. You really outdid yourself there. You managed to make him cry. In a room full of other boys his age, he cried, because of you.
And now his life at school is effectively over. He’d already been having trouble. He’s the smallest male in his class and he can’t hit, pitch, kick or dunk a ball. However, he was managing to get through with his wry sense of humour and his ability to run pretty damn fast. Now he’ll never fit in, thanks to your public, verbal flogging.
There’s good news, though. For you, anyway. You know how you so wanted to make a social impact with your literary and/or theatrical endeavours? You have. Your words and your performances will never be forgotten. You are immortalised in the minds of your pupils.
This little girl today, for instance. She’ll will always remember and be affected by you. The first time she meets someone who calls her “friend,” she’ll be so surprised and grateful, that she’ll probably be misused. Her first job promotion, she’ll feel a clenching in her stomach, as she wonders if she’s really capable of handling it. When a man tells her he loves her, there’ll always be doubt whispering in her mind, that he can’t possible mean it. And if she becomes a mother, she’ll worry far more than most, that she’s making a mess of it.
As for that boy, if he has a supportive family, he’ll make it through the next five years of school, though they’ll be hell for him. The girls will always roll their eyes when they see him coming and sidle away. He might come to hate women because of it and himself, too. And if he doesn’t have a loving family, he might decide life is not worth it and take himself out, along with some of his classmates and teachers, probably. Possibly you.
All because you and so many others like you, couldn’t respect yourself, or your pupils or the job you were hired to do. It’s a job you’ll always despise, yet one from which no one will ever be able to pull you away. And every day you’re in it, you make my job harder for me.
Haven’t you figured out who I am?
Well, maybe you should look harder, too.
I’m the English teacher across the hall. And I hear you every day.
——————————————
credits – excerpt from Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist, photo from ‘foversouls’ on Flickr- “First Day of School”
Words stay with us forever….that guy Sucks.
YOU ROCK!! Love this post!
Thanks. The teacher in this post isn't really one teacher, just a compilation of teachers I'd met over the years when I was teaching. And when they have tenure, you can't get them out . One of the reasons I no longer teach. Three people in my VOX neighbourhood inspired the post, because they all wrote about being learning-challenged as kids and what they wrote made me very sad.
WOW. Powerful. That's a good lesson for anyone that teachs or interacts with children on a daily basis.
This is an amazing post, Patricia. Thank you for your eloquence.
oh, man. it took me years before i realized that teachers were human like the rest of us… and i always just assumed that they all loved what they did… it was actually kind of a rude awakening for me when i realized what a bunch of assholes so many of them actually were… great post. as usual. 🙂
My brother was the class bully… his way of handling the dyslexia, the repeating a year at school. Undiagnosed till 10, he then was sent away from our family to a boarding school for 'challenged' youngsters as we lived in Belgium at the time & the only (private) English school refused to teach him.
I really enjoy reading your posts Patricia, there is always so much feeling in them and this one is no exception. I am saddened by the fact that there are actually real teachers that are like this. I was fortunate that none of my teachers were too bad, but i definitely knew which ones were truly there to teach. They were the ones that made an effort to do a good job.
Attacking teachers as a class instead of individually is a mistake. Anyone attacking them needs to (1) call for richer education budgets so that we don't end up with the bottom of the barrel and (2) stand against the out of control standards testing which leads to over work and less effective education.
Good one, Patricia, and very sensitively written. That said though, I don't envy teachers their jobs. My niece is a real sweetie, and yet, she has come to see her teaching job as just that, a job. She has been worn down by uncaring bureaucrats on the one side, and uncaring parents on the other, who see schools as just somewhere they can park their brood while they attend to more important things in life, whatever that may be be.Yet, this is not to defend the negative influence perpetrated on kids by some teachers. As you say, a thoughtless remark and/or action can have lifelong consequences for that child. I well remember the adopted girl who lived across the road from me. Nobody tried harder than her with her homework. Nobody paid more attention than her in class. And yet, she was the one who was constantly humiliated in front of the whole class by the teacher. Oh yes, he was a good church going Christian too, I might add, who certainly lived by their "spare the rod, spoil the child" teachings.I see my old school friend from time to time. She married, unhappily, raised three kids, divorced, survived the suicide of her only son, and now lives her life in a fog of medication necessary to treat her bipolar disorder. Yet, she is always cheerful, and never speaks of that teacher. I remember the bastard though. He's dead now. I don't know if he made it to his Heaven, or not. I do know that he did his part in contributing to my friend's Hell on this Earth. I like to think he's getting his just reward. Bastard.
Dear Henesua:
I wonder if you read my post through carefully. There were no attacks on teachers "as a class." There was an attack on individuals who pursue a teaching career while their hearts are not in it. In fact, the post was written by a teacher, one who was dedicated whilst teaching and who had to carry tenured teachers on her back,who were not doing their work and who were getting higher salaries every year. And there were many others who felt as I did. As for the never-ending whining about money in the education sector,let's look at the average teacher's salary- to start a first year teacher makes on the lower end about 30,000 a year. A first year anything else, on a career track in the private sector gets less. But the private sector individual works at least 320 days, whilst a teacher works 180. So you need to take that salary and multiply it accordingly, in order to get a real idea of what teachers actually make.You also need to add in the incredible benefits- health care that is unsurpassed in any other industry lower loan rates and lots of educater discounts everywhere. There are many opportunites to nmake more money in summer programmes, too. Teachers also get raises every year according to seniority, rather than ability and if that's not a recipe for disaster I don't know what is. In addition to that, how do you propose getting the 'bottom of the barrel' out if they are tenured in? On the testing issue I agree with you with some qualification. It goes back to finding a viable and workable solution to making teachers responsible for their work, as everybody else in very other industry has to be.
I agree. I also know parents like this, who take their frustrations out on their children by belittling them. It's horrible when you're a kid and you can't fight back. Worse, you believe and trust the adults in your life, especially your teachers and your parents. So, if they tell you you're stupid, or any other negative thing, you really do think it's true.
Wow, Snowy. A very powerful story. I also sympathise with your niece. I taught for many years and was alwasy feeling worn out by other teachers like the one in my post today and by the very same things your niece is struggling with now, as well. My suggestion to her, if she plans to continue, would be to focus on the positive aspects, which in my mind were the pupils and what I was able to achieve in my classroom with them. It's like any other career. – there is good and bad with it. For a teacher who loves his or her work, the good is always the accolades you feel when you're able to reach a child. I use to say to my younger teachers, "You will see one hundred and fifty pupils per day. If you can reach just one, you have made a remarkable difference in the world. That one pupil will make better life choices, meet different people who will broaden his horizons further, chose a more rewarding career and eventually raise a better child." When I would see this happne with my own pupils, it felt wonderful for me personally. It's like leaving a legacy.
Amen to that! (and thank you fro your compliments on my posts. I appreciate that very much.)
When I lived in Greece, there were no facilities in th epublic schools for children with learning challenges. There were not even handicap accesss to the schools, so one child we knew in the neighbourhood, who was confined to a wheel chair, did not attend school. Luckily, things are improving a great deal now. My business partner and I started an education service there in Athens and one of the things we addressed with teachers and parents was dyslexia. There were so many people who attended, because the resources for their students and children were so limited. I'm sorry to hear about your brother's struggles, but it does sound as though he had/has a support system in you.
I hear you Grrrace. It was as shock to me, too. There are many wonderful dedicated teachers, but there are just as many who are opportunists and sadly, pedophiles. I learned this from being a teacher and I watched my son's teachers very carefully while he was growing up. It was no surprise to me that only the good ones were not intimidated by me and the fact that I was a teacher, too.
I wondered what you, in particular, with you devotion to education, would say about this particular post. It's been on my mind for a while. after reading some blogs of my VOX neighbours.
Yes, my niece certainly finds her little rays of sunshine amid the gloom. I'm sure she'll carry on, and have fond memories of those times of which you speak.One teacher who comes to my mind who had a positive influence on we bush kids was the man who also taught Sunday School and started the local Boy Scout group. We always speak fondly of him.
Ironically, my fondest memory was of my seventh-grade English teacher. She really had an impact on how much I love literature and I can still hear her in my mind reading aloud "The Jabberwocky." When I was in New York a while back, visiting friends, a grown woman came up to me, in her late thirties at least, (now that's sobering) and said, " I remember you. You're Mrs. Volonakis and I never forgot reading A Tale of Two Cities in your class.It's still my favourite book." I have to tell you, it was a even better NY travel experience than all the great restaurants and shops!
Wow Patricia….Powerful stuff. I'm glad you decided to post this.
I have to say that I work daily with teachers and there are teachers who love to teach and there are teachers that are brutal and are there for no other reason than to pass the day and get a paycheck.
The students are becoming harder to deal with…However in my opinion everyone has given up. No one is trying to find out where the pain and anger is coming from and reach these kids…instead teachers are held so accountable by State tests that love and compassion and the ability to take time to develop a trusting relationship with a student is lost…and replaced with required test scores and rules about appropriate student teacher interaction. (Which by the way has become NO interaction.) Administration turns a blind eye in most cases unless a news crew shows up and teachers feel unsupported when their classrooms get out of control…So what can we do? I wish I knew…
I love this so much. I was told I was dyslexic when I was young, and it turned out I was merely left handed and being forced to write with my right hand. Later, at the end of public school, I was also told to take lower level classes in highschool as I would never pass higher level courses. Nobody realised I was distracted by too much stimuli outside of school. I am so thankful for those few wonderful teachers who *did* see through to my real challenges. I am thankful that they opened my eyes and showed me how I could be my very best academically while persuing all of my other interests. Without them I would have fallen through the cracks and lost. I am greatly thankful for those few amazing teachers… the rest I say, "I notice *you* less now than you did *me* then."
This post brings to mind two different memories of my childhood. There are several that center on David, he was in my 5th grade class in Maine. I bet anything that he suffered from Dyslexia—I'm not even sure that was a word back in 1975, though. I remember many times the only thing he would manage to get on his papers (especially math) was his name. Unfortunately he was picked on unmercifully by many of us…me included. (*hangs head in shame—I wish I could go back and treat him differently; see if I could help him—instead I joined in on the teasing—I'm so ashamed of the young me—)
The other memory is from 11th grade and centers around my Algebra II teacher. I struggled in Algebra and never should have taken Algebra II, but due to moving across country and other things I ended up taking the class. I could not get it, I struggled with that class on a daily (and nightly) basis. One time the teacher told us of a pop test he was planning the next day. My little stubborn Taurus self decided that I was going to pass this test–that was the goal, just to pass. I studied and studied for that test and ended up with a 100. Instead of praise, I was greeted with anger…the teacher was mad at the rest of the class because "If Johnson can get a 100 ANYBODY can get a 100!!!" That was the day I gave up on Algebra II and math in general.
There's a little girl I onced teased when we were in kindergarten because everybody else was doing it and it still bothers me to this day. The lure to fit is is often irresistable to young people, but it does get easier for many of us as we grow older, thank goodness. As for your algebra teacher, he sounds foolish and frustrated. But in your heart I hope you know you passed that test because of your hard work. If I were your teacher,I would have said, "Good job, Johnson!" Now, that's what we all deserve to hear when we work hard. Why doesn't anybody ever say it ??
pedophiles. *shudder* now that i'm a mom, the thought angers me much more than it did before… not that i ever thought it was all right, but you know what i mean. i felt the disgust, but not the rage… makes me wanna cry…
You had trouble in school? It astonishes me to hear that with you artistic talent and your ability to formulate simple words into such beautiful imagery. Thank goodness for those teachers, because something wonderful would have been lost to the world if you had given up on writing and art. I like the last line of your comment. We should all remember to think that about anybody wholets us down. (Ex-husbands come to mind.. .heehee)
Perfect!! Patricia, this post is one of the best! Since, it's 3:42 am in athens, I am heading to bed. Tomorrow, I will give you a more elaborate comment!
I've heard a lot about the testing from many teachers at all levels. The teachers unions need to get together and analyse the results of these exams. Are pupils learning to read better and perform better at maths? If so, the exams should be modified only enough to alleviate some of the stress off of pupils and teachers. If not, they should be protested formally, instead of just in blogs and newspaper articles. If the No Child Left Behind is not working, parents and educators, should write to Congress. Despite the dents now present in our civil liberties, we can still stand up to George Bush.
Having said that, unfair work conditions do not give any teachers leeway to ignore their pupils. I was teaching when the 'no touching pupils-personal space respect,' etc, rules came into play. Children who came to my classroom (when I had one ) for extra help always were helped outside in the school hallway where anybody could see us. There's always a way to get accomplished what we need to. It's interesting to note that while so many teachers are wary of the 'no interaction' business, we still have pupils and teachers in illlicit sexual relationships! That signifies to me that no one is really enforcing these rules and they are only being made to appease the public and to keep the ACLA busy. The bottom line is, if a teacher is doing only what he or she is supposed to be doing- teaching- life in the classroom won't always easy, but it won't be impossible, either.
What are you doing up so late? Never mind. Don't answer that question.. Boy, do I sound like somene's mother or what?
I read an article in Glamour magazine once titled, "Rape: What Cops Know." I saved it, In it are quotes from dozens of police officers who said that, "In every square mile of every city, there is one pedophile. You know him.You see him every day and you probably even talk to him." I read that article when my son was in second grade and I still remember that. They also said that pedophiles "know they are attracted to young children by the time they reach puberty. And so they take jobs where they know they will be around many children. Which means that the people you trust most around your children- teachers, scout leaders, camp counsellours, coaches, etc., have a higher percentage of pedophiles in their ranks. And if a pedophile's not smart enough to get a college degree, they will take other jobs around schools and camps, such as camp groundskeeper or school guard or custodian."
These are direct quotes from that article and the first time I read them, they made my blood run cold.
oh my gosh. my blood just ran cold. i just shivered. we live really close to a park so i know that no known pedophiles live nearby… but it's the people who haven't been caught and who aren't registered offenders that freak me out.*shudder* it's just so wrong…
Yes, but I don't want to freak you out. I remember how spooked I used to get over things like this when my son was small. If you look carefully at the horror stories, kidnapping, etc., most of those children were unattended and or not being watched as well as they shoudl have been. Also, a child who has parents active in the school, even if you just show up at Parent-Teacher Nights, usually doesn't get any trouble from wacko teachers. Those teachers are smart enough to go after the kid who is lonely and not looked after by parents. They're easier 'marks.' As long as you keep looking after Mia as you always have done, she is safe, I'm sure.
Yo 'Ma, I was studying on my thesis, ok?? LOL!!! Patricia, you sound like a typical Greek mum! You should check this! Yet, I tend to love it! Am I a weirdo?? Well, maybe, but you know how boys are! We love our mum's attention and women of the Mediterranean Sea know how to take care us; even if they exaggerate sometimes!
Endaxi pedi mou. Eheis fai? Eho spanakopita, To thelees? Hee hee. Sorry my Greek is terrible, I know….
Patricia, I did read your post through and thoroughly. Just to come clean I should admit 2 things: I do not like the "bad" teacher scapegoat – nor any other similar blame game. I also do not like emotional politics – abhor them actually. So given that, we clearly are not going to get along on this issue. Take the following with this in mind. I don't bear you ill will, but this post and your comments within it have set me off.After my quick read through, I encountered your comment to Genevieve in which you explained how you generalized this fictitious teacher character based upon many who you have encountered throughout your life. That was enough for me to make my initial comment. With this comment in mind, I think the line of distinction you are making in your defense is very thin. You are more or less attacking a generalized "bad" teacher. I will give you the benefit of the doubt as to how you feel and what you intend, but that is not necessarily what you are communicating to your readers, certainly not to me, nor indicative of the sentiment of many of these responses. And, any teacher can be a "bad" teacher on any given day. It does solve anything to berate them. But perhaps the system lends itself to such behavior? That is always MY first question, as I find the way people are managed (as a whole) makes a huge difference with regards to the lowest common denominator of employee.Now with regards to your points on income et al, I strongly disagree. You need to look again at your use of the term profession as that is a narrow definition. And in any case, even entry level construction (full time) often pays better than 30k a year in the Bay Area. Teachers are amongst the lowest paid of professions both at entry level and in terms of maximum expected salary. You can make the argument about total days worked, and that teachers should supplement one's work during summers, but I think as a teacher you should be well aware of why this argument is disingenuous; a temp job just isn't going to supplement much at all on top of eliminating your entire vacation. Teachers work longer days than other professions (if they do their job right). Teachers can not have off days. The entire school year is a project which the teacher must work on from start to finish. Other professions do not have these issues. I don't know why I should have to state this to you, but you are not the only one who has ever taught. I am very well aware of what it takes to be a teacher, and I do not envy teachers their job at all.Anyway, as I said before, if I think anyone is to reform the education system, attacking teachers is not going to be productive. Whether or not you feel you are attacking teachers here I think is not entirely relevant. What you have written is emotional fuel for such things, and does attack tenure specifically as a problem which I must add is based upon anecdotal and personal evidence discussed in anger.Solving a problem like this takes planning and policy from a cool head.
You are absolutely right, Henesua. We are not going to agree on this issue, though your point is well taken that this is an emotional piece rather than a coolheaded, political one. When it comes to children's rights and what I expect from those responsible for their well-being, I find it difficult to be coolheaded. You mention that I'm angry at some of the things I witnessed whilst I taught? Hell, yes. And, you don't know the half of it. The misappropriated funds, the outrageous contracts, all paid for by taxpayers. The teacher I describe in this essay is a choir boy compared to the teacher who came to school drunkand stinking of urine on several ocassions and passed out when he was supposed to be teaching. Or the head of the Math Department at The Bronx School of Science – a top magnet school by the way – who belonged to the North American Man Boy Love Association and wrote columns for their newsletter on how to pick up young boys in the Phillipines. Those are not composites, Those are real teachers I came across whilst I taught and only two at that. I can list plenty of others. And they couldn't be thrown out of teaching without horrendous legal battles because of our union and their tenure. Then there was the dyslexic boy who was purposely misdiagnosed and put into an "MS 2"(Special ed for very slow learners) class because "they needed an extra student, or the teacher wouldn't have a full class that year. And besides, the school has to pay extra funds for an outside instructor for dyslexic children." Once a child is put into a class like that, you need to move heaven and earth to get him out. His parents begged me to get involved and help them get him out, because they only spoke Spanish and did not know what they'd signed him up for. The things I witnessed would stun most people. You talk about emotional politics. We agree there. I hate propoganda But, teachers have always played propoganda. One only has to look at Hollywood movies to see that. You mentioned construction workers. No easy job that, either, by the way and physically dangerous to boot. (Did you know some contractors have law degrees so that with that degree, they could more easily obtain a contracter's license? But, I digress.) Well, if a construction worker does his job well, he gets a paycheck. If a teacher teaches his learning-challenged pupils to read and write, they make a movie out of it, starring Michelle Pfieffer. If that's not emotional politics I don't what is.
You made this statement, "I am very well aware of what it takes to be a teacher, and I do not envy teachers their job at all."
We disagree there, too. I loved teaching. I loved every one of my pupils, particularly the ones who were most challenging. I considered it a privilege to be able to try to help. I've been out of teaching for six years and I still miss it. Some of my pupils from years back still keep in contact with me. And I worked in some very tough schools, believe me.
Whether you accept this or not, there are some not only bad, but rotten apples in the profession, who take advantage of everything that's been instituted to protect teachers and students' rights. They cost taxpayers millions in dollars and we need to overhaul the tenure system to get them out. With everything that's addressed regarding our education system – the salaries. the overcrowded classrooms, the low reading scores,the troubled children from broken homes who are so "difficult" to teach, very little is ever said about bad teachers. It's like when the 9/11 situation first started. Anyone who spoke out against the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq was labelled "un-American. " I loved that. That was good propoganda, that was. Well, to my mind, there is nothing more American than speaking one's mind and to protest policy. I get it that talking about bad teachers is considered very politically incorrect. And I don't care. I know what I experienced and I know what I believe.And I will speak out about it, even if it makes me unpopular, as I spoke out against Bush and his henchmen, before other people had the courage to do so, while they were still picking bodies out of the Ground Zero rubble, even.
Having said all this, I read your blog and you are a very intelligent person. I sincerely appreciate that you considered this essay worthy of your thoughts and your time. We just truly disagree on this issue. I hope we can respect each other despite that.
Following disagreement, Patricia writes:We just truly disagree on this issue. I
hope we can respect each other despite that.Yes, I am willing to agree to disagree. I wouldn't have written a well considered reply if I did not respect you. I still urge someone of your honed eloquence to apply it to more rational arguments rather than fanning emotions, but that is not up to me, and I am respectful enough to now leave you to fight this fight however you see fit.
Not only are you intelligent, you are a gentleman. I truly thank you for that and I will keep in mind your comment on "fanning emotions." It has merit and bears my consideration when writing my future posts.
Took me back to my school days, when all through my senior school (11-16) we were saddled with a really "old school", mean class tutor who was also our English teacher. She flat out said "Dyslexia doesn't exist… they just aren't trying hard enough." That's a direct quote. One of my older sisters was dyslexic, so I knew this wasn't true. Same teacher also chose to blame the entire class for letting one pupil get bullied so much that he put a bully's head through a window. Apparently we should have been more approachable. She admitted absolutely no fault in the matter. The rest of the staff weren't much better. One was convicted for embezzling from her pupils, another (a woman) ran off with an underage boy!
Sorry, just me whining. Good post.
Your Greek are just fine! Den thelo spanakopita! Exo tyropita apo xtes! HaHa! You are such a riot! Let me finish something at the office and I will give you an elaborate comment!
This was incredible, powerful, sad and unfortunately… truthful.
You're not whining, my friend. I hear you. Did you by any chance, somehow, go to school in NY at the school where I was teaching? Those incidents sound horribly familiar….. (joking, of course)
Yes,enjoy your cheese pie break and then get back to work! It's good to know I'm not the only one working today….
Thank you very much, Tom. Yes, I'm afraid that sometimes, it is too true..
gosh… it's still just so wrong… thanks for sharing that with me. as awful as it is, i'd rather be informed… 🙂
I'm glad you feel that way. I hope it helps. : )
How's your neck BTW? Did you try the shrimp recipe yet?
NO! because i keep forgetting to buy the heavy cream!!! i went to the store YESTERDAY and i forgot to write it down on my list. 🙁 *sigh* and mia just picked up a cold 🙁 SO, i'm going to try it this weekend. i'll go to the store when steve's home with mia. going to the store with her is such a pain. hehe :)my neck is about 95% better. so it's in pretty good shape. 🙂
It is hard to go shopping with a little one. The trouble with having heavy cream in the fridge for me, is that it's so tempting to add brandy and kalhua to it…and drink it all! Glad your neck is feeling better! : )
*gasp* that sounds like heaven. hehe.
They're called Brandy Alexanders. I…uh…heard that it cures neck pain. In fact, it's good for all kinds of pain!
weird. all of a sudden, i feel my neck acting up again. i'd better try one of these painkillers ;P hehehe.
I'd love to see you find a wider audience for it. (You might have to edit the word "asshole".)
Yeah, you know…my neck hurts, too. Must be catching. And anyway,the ingredients are sort of like morning coffee…. with a little kick. Since it's not even ten a.m here yet, I mean… !
I agree that was probably overkill. ( I am very passionate about this subject and I guess I got carried away.) I usually try out essays and satires on this blog and if they're received well, I edit them and submit them to different online and print magazines. You are very welcome to reproduce it for any work you are doing in the education/child advocate/special ed field. I only ask for a byline and maybe a website mention. These help promote my writing, which is my bread and butter.
well, it's 12 o'clock somewhere! 😛
LOL! Good point! Let's go for it! I've already got the brandy open!
Thank you for writing this! I still remember my 5th grade teacher telling me that a lot was one word and not two. I also remember how kids would get kind of humiliated for wrong answers and the like. The best teacher is the one that teaches with kindness and respect!
"The best teacher is the one that teaches with kindness and respect! "
Extremely well said.
Thanks =) I was thinking about adding that they're passionate and make things interesting, but just decided to leave it at that. After all, that's what your post is about…the lack of respect some teachers have for students
The sad thing about this post I think is that most people will come across teachers like this, the only reason some may forget is that they have good support external to the school environment. A teacher should not be looking at the job as them being the one that is teaching, there is so much to learn and children can teach adults a lot, it should be a joint collaboration in the class room.I think these teachers that want to control the students in such a way do so out of their own fears of inadequacy, and they could learn a lot if they stood back and watched.
This is really an insightful comment. Are you a teacher yourself? I so agree that teachers can learn from pupils, as all adults can learn from all young people. It is also very true that ony those who had feelings of inadequacy emotionally brutalise others who are dependent on them in some way. That's true of any relationship. not just of pupil and teacher.
Oh, definitely, I prefer a teacher who's passionate about her subject and makes things interesting. ( I was justtalking baout my seventh grade English teacher yesterday with Snowy. I can still remember how much I enjoyed that woman's class.) But even a teacher who cannot exhibit that kind of passion can still be a good teacher if she teaches with respect and compassion, as you say.
this was heartbreaking yet so intimate!!!
I guess it came from the heart because I've felt like that little girl once or twice in my lifetime..
Haha, one of my English teachers in 11th grade said that she was married to Nathaniel Hawthorne in a previous life. She had so much passion about literature (specifically Hawthorne and Emily Dickinson)
Did you enjoy what she taught? ( I loved Dickenson, but could never truly appreciate Hawthorne.) I had other favourites, though.
I certainly enjoyed when she taught and got a lot more out of everything! I didn't really like Hawthorne either. (This class was also Advanced American Lit/Comp and I always found that the advanced teachers would usually be the ones to make things more fun for some reason)
No, I have taught but I am not a teacher as such, just an adult who knows that children are people just as much as adults are and should be treated with just as much respect and when more people do so, then less children will be left behind or worse injure themselves or others.Yes, it applies to more then just the teacher\pupil role..
I just came over to see your blog. You're very good at painting a picture with your words.
Dammit. I just accidentally marked my own post as a 'favourite' because I clicked the wrong button. How can I delete that? I'm such a tecno-phob.
Anyway, back to your comment – I bet it was fun having a teacher who had 'former lives..' My teachers were not that colourful, but we did have an art teacher, who was very creative and quite dramatic….
Thank you, I try to say what I feel and think, I am glad it makes sense 🙂
I'm sorry about the experience, though. It sounds sad.
It was, however it teaches me as well :)I didn't enjoy it at the time I must admit, however I have moved well beyond those feelings, I have a very special friend that has helped me.
I read this post several days ago, and it was lovely and touching and brought me back to places I needn't revisit too often. I didn't say anything though, probably because I had too much to say and it wouldn't be coherent. All I can say is that I think nearly everyone in the world remembers where they felt that way at some point, or felt enraged by similar treatment towards a near friend or loved child.
The comment stream though… THAT I can comment on. That's intellectual, and logical, and a connundrum. I do so love a connundrum.
You speak of reforms of tenure. I'm no expert in that area, and I don't know what others have proposed or implemented, but I do definitely see a problem. Schools need to provide a service, and with that service standardized it is difficult to reward efforts accordingly.
All I can offer is a bit of insight from my own profession.
As a medic my degree is standardized. I'm required to reciertify periodically, but like many teachers, I'm not in this to be in the medical profession. I'm in it to be a writer. But dispite my mixed priorities I honestly consider myself better than the average medic I see in my industry. You speak of the teaching profession being the obvious choice for individuals inclined to dispicable activities because the proximity makes those acitivities convenient. Well in my profession there exists a different sort of draw. It draws lazy people.
Now obviously it's easier to drop a bad medic than it is to cause a bad teacher to lose tenure, but we still have the same problem in that because of a standardized code of practice, the legitimate medical professionals cannot be rewarded and recognised properly, and the medics that get the most work are not the most capable but the most affable. (And often the easiest on the eyes.)
However changes are occurring for the better. Canada is instituting a modular course system that will make the Emergency Care Provider's training advance in degrees. One qualification leads to the next and so on. Incorporated with this is the requirement that to keep one's qualifications, the ECP is required to earn a certain number of medical training credits per year to keep their tickets.
What will change in the industry from this is that medical service providers will start paying for their medics to take further modules as they grow in seniority, with incremental pay increases based on degree of qualification. This in-turn will allow the average standard of care in the overall system to improve. I actually intend to speak with my employer in 2008 and see if they will pay for and give me an hourly rate if I take my next module in the summer.
What I'm getting at is this: What if Teachers weren't payed according to time spent in the trenches, but rather what they did to better themselves? What if education degrees became modular? I believe social working has various degrees and types of qualifications… why should teaching not work that way as well?
Anyhow… they're just thoughts and likely not new ones. I just hate looking at a problem and not trying for some sort of solution.
ToeKnee,
Some of what you are describing is happening. At least in my district. We get paid for workshops we attened and there is a career ladder. However in my experience the training that is offered is based on academics and there is next to nothing offered on how to work with different "cultures" in the classroom. By cultures I mean that teachers and staff need training about what life is like outside the classroom and what causes some of the undesireable behavior we see now.
I think one of the other problems that happens now is that teachers are often times placed in classrooms that don't fit their teaching style or their personalities. I think administration needs to asses these things when placing teachers. There are teachers and support staff that seem to have an intuitive gift to understand children with special needs. Then there are teachers and support staff that seem to only want to teach children that are working on level. I've seen classrooms that had some really miserable teachers because they weren't doing what they were good at. It still doesn't excuse mean or cruel behavior…but knowledge is pretty powerful and even those that teach need more of it! LOL
I also want to add that another problem that drives me INSANE is the fact that if a teacher notices a possible learning disability with a student she can't begin immediaely using stratagies to help the student. There has to be a whole lot of red tape first. She has to request a specialist. The specialist has to agree with the teacher. |(Which in the case of things like Autisim can be difficult) Once the diagnosis is made then there has to be a meeting with all staff involved and the parents. At this time the parents have to agree to have thier child labled with the disability. (This can be VERY difficult to do) and at THAT time the student can begin to recieve services to help him/her.
While this is happening a child can be falling through the cracks emotionally and academicly. THEN you have compound situations like deafness and Autism or Deafness and ADHD…because Dr's that are uninformed about deafness may confuse the behaviors as being "Part of the deafness"….UGH
Okay…shutting up now!
Laurie
I'm so pleased you took the time to come over and visit and make this insightful, well-thought out comment. The reason being you are one of the people on this site I have come to admire, not only for your writing skills, but for your perspective on life and your integrity.
Now to respond to your comment, let me just make it clear that I see nothing wrong with anyone who works in one field, having aspirations to another. Just as I.m sure you can be a good medic and writer at one and the same time, so can a teacher be a good teacher and also a good…whatever. When a person has drive, ambition, integrity and a vision, he or she can pursue one career whilst making a good job of another.
The problem comes in to my mind, when as Worker wisely points out, "feelings of one's own inadequecy" cause people to fail at what they want to do, or not pursue it hard enough to achieve their dream. But, rather than assess their own condition and psyche, they place blame elsewhere, rather than on their state of mind. I tried to express that in the paragraph that says,
" you also realised that the teaching day…would give you just enough time to play at your real interests. On a subconcious level, you knew if you didn't succeed at them then, you could always blame it on the fact that you had no time, you had to teach."
My portrait was of someone who would not achieve their dream regardless of what they chose to do to pay the bills while pursuing it. And when they fail, they can't blame themselves, so their pupils and their job become a handy excuse and target.
This is why when people make the assessment that the reasons some teachers behave as the one in my essay behaves, is because the work conditions are so difficult, or the administration is unappreciative, it makes my blood boil. It would be like in my case, when I was in a bad marriage with a husband who emotionally mistreated me and because of that I felt trapped and wasn't able to fulfil my own personal dreams, that would give me the excuse to mistreat my son!
Laurie has written a thoughtful and well-informed comment here, too, (which I will address in a minute) Education reform does need to be made in order to make the school system and all teachers more effective. But teachers like the one in my essay will never be effective, because they are unhappy in general and are bullying their pupils as a result. They are protected by an umbrella of tenure that has simply become too all-encompassing.I do not propose that we do away with tenure completely, nor do I disagree with your excellent suggestions on how to address some of the the training and standardised salary issues. I can say that many of the most effective teachers, who want to be in the school system, who truly want to teach, work around those problems, or put up with them, because they like what they do. What's most exhausting for those teachers is not the system that needs reform, not the standardised salary issues (though it would be so lovely if those could be addressed) but the colleague like the one in my essay, who poisons the work environment with his negativity, his shame of himself, his lack of pride in a career that they are devoted to. For teachers who are caring and proud of what they do, to work with individuals like the one in my essay is like working with an emotional vampire. They drain the energy and enthusiasm from the teachers' 'room. They openly mock anyone, (particularly the young, new, zealousy enthusiastic teacher) who is really stoked to do a good job. They offer nothing to that colleague and resent the older teachers who still get joy from their work. That's because they want everyone to feel like they do. They need validation that their misery has nothing to do with them. I know that if we could get rid of this sort of person from the education field, some of the frustration a competent teacher feels on a daily basis would be alleviated. Think how much better a work environment is when you are surrounded by positive colleagues and how it olny takes one to bring a whole crew down. Teachers have to deal with capricious education reforms, children who have serious learning challenges and so many other issues inherent in the field. Why do we have to deal with the sort of individual I describe, as well? To work with a child and have some success, only to see that same pupil crushed by a 'teacher' like this one, to go to administration as a group repeatedly and complain about the same colleagues over and again, only to be told by the headmaster(and truthfully) that though she agrees, there is nothing she can do because that teacher has 'tenure,' is disheartening to say the last. It eats at you, I tell you. Though teachers who feel as I do and work as I do, would most certainly appreciate a reward system ( and who wouldn't like a pay raise?) we would still have to deal with this teacher. And we'd have the added burden of he or she being 'jealous' because of the 'fiscal favourtism' shown to those who do work hard. The solution to my mind is not a dismissal of, but a reworking of the tenure system. As it functions now, it only serves those who don't deserve to have their jobs held firm.
Hi, Laurie – You make three really brilliant points:
1) Training of teachers on the subculture and value system inherent in the majority of their student body
Gosh! This is so important. In the span of my teaching career, I came across a student body who, if they were suspended from school for fighting, would get a beating from their parents- not because they were fighting in school, but because they didn't win the fight! Another student group had the subculture that anything that was too interesting or 'fun' in the classroom, couldn't be educational. If I had been apprised of these perspectives ahead of time, I would have been able to institute a more effective methodology much earlier than I did. This is so easily resolvable. During contractually mandatory staff meetings, the ones wher the principal bores us to tears about the holiday concert, etc. and doesn't know what to talk about to fill the required hour, why not have consultants come in who know the area and the clientele and can offer a little background into the beliefs,and home operations of the student body?Teachers and consultant can then brainstorm on how to address issuesd based on that information.
2) Teacher placement.
Yes! Nothing drains a teacher's energies faster than feeling as though his/her talents are not being utilised. The problem is administration makes up the class assigmernts and they have 'dubious' methodology. I propose some sort of a teacher request system based on merit,extracurricular activities and not solely on seniority, or being 'best buds' with the headmaster.
3) Special Ed.
Here it becomes more difficult. These measures have been put in place to prevent children from being hastily diagnosed and misplaced in special ed from where they then have difficulty being removed. Hmm. We need toponder ths one. Maybe Toe-Knee has an idea? Maybe we'll come up with one by Christmas? (Then again, maybe not)
I love how passionate you are about what you do and the thought you put into your responses. Your pupils are some of the lucky ones….
Hehe! You could probably go to your favorites and unmark it somehow. She was definitely a good teacher. I had another one that would let us sit on our desks in class and called us "funny bunnies"
In a situation like the one you describe, good friends come in handy. : )
Okay. The special ed issue honestly doesn't seem as complicated to me as it comes across as being. Obviously a misdiagnosis leads to problems, but why does a teacher need to diagnose to get the child help?
Here's the solution as I see it.
-Teacher sees student having particular difficulties.
OR *gasp*
-Parent sees their child is having difficulties on certain aspects of progress reports and goes and speaks to teacher. (My parents did this on several occasions, though I understand it's becoming something seen less and less.)
-Upon speaking with parents teacher explains that yes the child is struggling for whatever reason, and because no one wants to see the child fail at that particular subject, recommends a program or two that have teachers with better understanding of that subject that can spend more one-on-one time with the student to help them overcome the difficulties and enable them to succeed.
I don't see why there needs to be a huge focus on the child not being good at it. Just look at the results and figure out ways to make them better, obviously one-on-one schooling saps resources of poorer schools, but that's a totally different problem. Also none of these solutions will work if either the teacher or the parent is really not interested in helping the child but right now I'm only speaking of ways that a pro-active teacher and a receptive parent could remove red-tape to get a child help.
That's what I think. Just remove the red-tape and don't look at the kid as needing to be diagnosed immediately. Obviously yes it's good to bring in specialists, but in the mean time, what harm is going to be caused by simply treating the symptoms? The child struggles at math, so get her some extra math help, the child struggles at reading, then help at reading is given. We don't need to interpret these things as more than they are sometimes, just put the boy or girl in a calmer more focused apnosphere and help them along.
Hi, Toe Knee – what you suggest is something that is done quite often. As you say, it will work only if the parent/guardian is receptive and able finanically to do it. There are all kinds of after-school private programmes for children who need extra help, too, but again, finances come into play. I also know teachers (and I was oneo f them when I taught) who ofer extra-help either after school or before the start of the school day. My son's highschool math teacher had extra help formally, one a week on Thursday mornings and a pupil could always go in and see her in the a.m. on any day if they were really struggling. With a child who is dyslexic or has nother learning challenge, this sort of thign doesn't often help because it is the processing of information – how the brain interpets data- that is causing the problem. A good example is – let's say the pupil is deaf and has no hearing aid. No matter how many extra hours or tutoring he gets,he still can't process it because he can't hear it. h emight be able to discern some iformation by reading lips, let's say, but unless he's taught sign language and his instructors can communicate with him that way, the extra help is like talking to someone who can't hear you, but just for a longer period of time. One thign I love about our education system here in the US is that funds are put aside for those children bythe federal goverment and school can utilise them. But a system of checks and balances is in place to try to limit the misuse of those funds. A great example of this misuse is the boy I mention inmy rant to Henesua that was placed in a class for what is basically the mentally retarded who are being mainstreamed taught in a regular public school. If one does have a mentally retarded child, one can asapply to the Feds for funds, not ony for that child'srschooling, but to help offset the expense that might be incurred for their special care in other areas of their lives besides edcuation. So- the boy who was deliberately placed in that special ed class was getting funds. Wen his parents tried to protest that he didn't belong in the class, the response the Spanish-speaking guidance counsellour at his school gave them was, " Why should you care? You're getting money for this." (sigh)
I just figured out how to unmark it. I also just leanred how to remove tags…gee I'm getting pretty good at this. Um…how old were you guys when your teacher was calling you, "funny bunnies?"
Hehe, we were a mixed class of sophomore and junior high schoolers. She didn't treat us like kids though. She was a good teacher
She sounds like she was fun and you have good memories of her. Isn't it something how we always remember our teachers?
Definitely. Haha, 2 of my friends and I got her to laugh so hard she was tearing up! I think we remember the teachers that have a big impact on us in some way (good or bad)
"I think we remember the teachers that have a big impact on us in some way (good or bad)"
You're right. : )
i only taught for a few years – two to be exact – after grad school, i thought i might want to teach – so i was an assistant teacher in a couple different Montessori schools – i loved it – granted, i was spoiled – the kids at my small school in Redmond, WA, were wonderful (as a matter of fact, many of them are on my Facebook – and i taught them 8 years ago, when they were 7, 8, and 9) – i'd like to think that they remember me because i was one of the good ones – i tried very hard to be a good, attentive and patient teacher – but i couldn't reconcile the pay with the amount of work involved – even just as an assistant – and i just couldn't get up that early in the morning – my health suffered – i ended up with IBS we need good teachers – kids remember the good ones, in addition to the bad ones!i tutored for several years before i quit altogether to write – i liked tutoring – more variety, and you could really work with a kid until he/she "got it" – of course, these are the kids who teachers in a classroom may have allowed to get further and further behind – but, having been a teacher, i can kind of understand how that could happen these days, what with all the pressure to "teach to the tests"i would like to have kept on teaching…but it was just too much
It sounds to me that you were doing the job of teaching right and well and realised it would not do for you going forward. I think it's not only sensible to leave something when we recognise that, it's also ethical. If people who say they want to have children got to be parents for a finite period of time and then had a choice to decide whether the situation would be permanent, I bet a portion of them would say "thanks, but no thanks." Taking care of kids, whether teaching or parenting, is a lot of sacrifice and a lot of responsibility. For example,I've always been of the opinion that women who don't cave into social pressure to become mothers when they know in their hearts they won't make a good job of it, are actually more nurturing than those who do become mothers because it's 'expected' and then, in their frustration over this, ignore or misuse their children. The ones who remain child-free by choice are far more honest. And I think that's the case with you and teaching. Had you continued, you would have become psychlogically exhausted by it and be no good to your students. Feeling that way, you would eventually feel bad about yourself and that's never good. Anyway, writing is a worthwhile occupation, too. (Says she who was once a teacher and is now also a writer!) ; D
hey Patricia – thanks for your remarks – i see we feel very similar on the teaching thing – as well as parentingi think that many people have a idealized view of parenting – and many don't realize just how much sacrifice and responsibility it takes – just like you saidsteven and i have decided not to have children – not because we wouldn't be good parents – i feel we actually would – but, we freely admit that we're not willing to sacrifice our lives for such an enormous responsibility – personally, i think all prospective parents should be required to take parenting classes – i think my interpersonal skills are put to better use being the "auntie" that the kids in my family go to to get "straight" answers – "straight" answers are not the kind my family excels in – and this kind of upbringing and interaction has caused too much mental upheaval and needless stress in my family – any family get-together involves unsaid and unexpressed feelings and thoughts – everybody always feels like they're going to bust, and, inevitably, someone does – i think i would be best at alleviating some of that among my younger relatives – i am the black sheep, after all:) – and, i think having been a teacher, gives me more of these skills – and not being a parents allows me the freedom to not have to act like onei think writing is worthwhile, as well 🙂 – i wish the rest of my family did! – hopefully, it's my way of reaching young girls in the way that my favorite authors reached and buoyed me when i was growing up 🙂
It seems we do have a lot in common. I'm also the black sheep of my family and I learned that trying to please them instead of myself never works, because they can't be pleased! ; ) So I would say that, as your husband is your family now and if he supports your writing, that's really all you need. I think you're dead on that teachers and writers can have a great inflluence on young people.I know several of both who had great influence on me. I hope to read some of your work someday…..
Very interesting. It reminds me of some of the experiences my co-writer, Rosie, had growing up. She was born with some hearing loss and lost a whole lot more after a childhood bout with the measles. In the 1950s, nobody noticed that. She also had trouble seeing, even then. She also had great difficulty spelling and to this day inverts certain letter combinations. It makes me wonder if there's some type of learning disability there. Despite that, Rosie is one of the most humorous and creative people I know. I'm at least grateful that interventions now exist that at one time didn't.Oh, yes, my husband is a high school math teacher. He's quickly becoming disillusioned by the profession, for myriad reasons. He went in wanting to make a difference in the world and got immediately slammed by inefficient school bureaucracies and students who, in many cases, simply didn't care.I really enjoyed your post. It brought up a lot of associations.Margy Rydzynski
Thank you for such an interesting comment, Margie. I'm always amazed by what people with learning challenges can do. Imagine a person who has trouble reading and writing becoming a writer! The human spirit is a miracle in itself. It sounds like you really admire your co-writer, too and I'm sure that makes for a lovely work environment. I've never written with a co-writer and I wonder what that's like.
Tell your husband not to give up. I just couldn't grasp mathmatical concepts until my ninth grade (male) math teacher. I don't know how he managed it to this day, but I started getting 'A's' in geometry and algebra. Even though I was consigned to the most rudimentary math courses all through high school, I felt like I had achieved something at least in his class. I never forgot his patience, how whe made it all seem simple and you know what?– I retain a lot of what he taught me to this day. : )
Well, Patricia, I'll cross my fingers and hope for the best as far as my husband is concerned. He still likes the idea of teaching. Perhaps he still needs to find his niche as far as age group and learning environments go.As for Rosie, yes, I am extremely impressed by her talents. She'd never admit to having them, which is all the more saddening. Perhaps a childhood of being labeled and then treated as a "trouble-maker" because she couldn't hear and couldn't see very well took their toll. Unfortunately, children tend to accept the labels their adult caretakers give them. This is as true today as it was in Rosie's and my day.
I think you're right about both your husband and your friend, Margie. I don't know how long your husband has been teaching, but sometimes a switch of environment and age group is all it takes to change the experience to positive. I would have trouble with lower grades, for example. I noticed I worked best with high school and junior high school. I taught second grade (elementary/junior school) for one year and had to remind myself to make sure all the little ones went to the toilet,rather than trying to keep them out of the toilets! It was such a different mindset.And there are those who excel at it as there are highschool teachers who excel at what they do.
As for your partner, I think we all carry baggage around from our childhood to some degree. It's almost like PTSS. A feeling of worthlessness or failure can poop up out of the blue for no reason we can discern. I noticed mine always seem to be connected to when something good happens. The feeling that when something good happens only a bad thing can follow is a mantra I learned growing up and you know, I've shaken it for the most part , but every now and then…there it is. I usually give myelf a stern talking to and it helps to have other people around who can help me 'snap out of it.'. I think that your support will help your co-writer. BTW- I don't know if I told you , but I visited your website and I say, kudos to you, kid. and to your co-writer.! : D
Thanks! Your feedback is wonderful. Nice to share thoughts and associations with another writer.Best,margy
I agree . I have friends and colleagues who enjoy the genre and I will forward your website on. Have a very happy holiday season. Patricia
I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking a lot about this post and the subsequent comments. I have been writing down some things and once organized, I am going to post them.
I've also been sick…..so a little slow off the mark.
That was very thoughtful of you to leave this comment and let me know that. I hope you feel better soon. This season is exciting, but so hectic and it gets our immune systems in an uproar. (BTW you must have read my mind, because I was just out shopping for a certain holiday for a certain someone……)
Being a parent is such a full time job, paikea.Liz and I are looking forward to the Grand parent role. (None on the horizon yet). Part timing it as a carer sounds much more relaxing. No wonder kids like their Grandma and Grandpa. They get more downtime and get to do the fun stuff with the grand kids. Then they slip away to their own quiet house when they are ready for a rest.Sounds dreamy to me. Just like being the Auntie. My Grand father had a brother who decided (with his wife) not to have kids. He always sounded like a pretty smart cookie to me.
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Peter. (BTW- You've got 'honourable mention, in my latest post. )
a certain someone? anyone I know? I certainly hope they are on the "nice" list!! haha! 🙂
Come on. With a name like 'Foxsy', you know which list you're on….. ; D
hahaha…now I am not sure!! Naughty can be nice sometimes…teehee! 🙂
Oh, yeah. It sure is. Worth getting a little coal in the ol' stocking…..
LOL
You saying that made me just recall something that a guy once said to me a long, long time ago when I was in my early 20's. He was trying to "figure me out". He was trying to figure out if I was a good girl who was bad sometimes, or if I was a bad girl who was good sometimes. That made me laugh! haha! 🙂
Hee hee. There's a Mae West line in there somewhere……
hey petermcc 🙂 – my grandparents had always been among my favorite people in the whole world – I think being a grandparent would be wonderful!
Unless things go pear shaped with your kids, you get to skim the cream when it comes to the grandkids.Being able to offer guidance rather than discipline really looks appealing.cheers