I’ve been having some very interesting philosophical, social and religious discussions with some of my new “netpals” from Australia. Their perspectives got me thinking about something I wrote in my memoir, Harlot’s Sauce, which has just been completed and which is being shopped around to publishers as we speak. So for this week’s blog I’m taking an excerpt on religion from that memoir and dedicated it to my new Aussie friends, most especially to one very deep thinker, Snowy.
I expect an extra drink from that still of yours for this one, Snowy.
; )
On Organised Religion
I was raised Catholic, as were many people I knew growing up. But, I had a few friends who were Protestant and then there was my friend, Margie, who was Jewish. When we were in high school, just for fun, we’d tag along to each other’s worship services occasionally. Even though Margie married a Catholic later on, (another intriguing story, that) she was overwhelmed when she first walked into my Catholic church as a teenager. The depiction of Jesus nailed to a Cross terrified her and the smell of the benediction incense nearly gave her an asthma attack.
Despite that, Margie wasn’t as affected by Catholic services as much as I was affected the first time I attended Protestant services. Having attending Catholic services all my life, the Protestant Church seemed too… well…comfy. The service too upbeat and brief, there was nothing daunting about the altar and there was no forbidding priest looking down from a godly height.
In fact, the officiator, who was actually smiling from the ground-level pulpit at the people attending worship, was allowed to be black or even female, I was told. I also thought the parishioners’ role was too easy. They didn’t have to kiss the hands of priests, nor kneel in supplication when he started his wailing. (Which in this church, he never did.) After all this cheerfulness in church, I just didn’t feel browbeaten, as I was supposed to, after I’d left. Therefore, Protestant church couldn’t truly be church…could it? Not to me, at least. I was a “first-generation American” and our priests were from the ‘old school.’
If you don’t know what it means to be a “first-generation American,” you’ll probably never understand the wide gap there was between those of us whose parents or grandparents had immigrated from other countries and those whose ancestors had been in the United States since the Constitution was signed. There are many differences between us, believe me, but they’re especially evident in our religions. Things might be different today, but when I was growing up, we first-generation ethnic groups had much more grinding religions than our more assimilated counterparts. As children, these religions kept us awake nights, terrified, our thoughts circling furiously. As adults, some of us became crushed followers or bitter atheists. Others tried intensive psychotherapy, but it didn’t help. Our spiritual educations were like deep moles in our skin. They were impossible to remove and could go bad at any moment.
Don’t misunderstand. I believe all religions based on the teachings of Abraham, Mohammed, Christ, or whomever else you’re partial to, started out as marvellous ideas. But here’s what I think happened:
One fateful day, Satan said to his followers, “I’ve just had a thought that might make this religion stuff work for me.”
With that, he went out and hired:
Tony Blair’s tailor
Sylvio Berlusconi’s plastic surgeon
The British Council
The U.S. Senate
The O.J. Simpson trial jury
Michael Moore’s film editors
Three tenured high school teachers
Six class valedictorians
Nine widowed old ladies who’d never had orgasms
Twelve zealots in pursuit of a cause, but who wanted to wear fur and eat meat and hadn’t read Orwell
He hit the jackpot when he signed on these last three:
Rupert Murdoch, Karl Rove and Bud Selig
Together, these dynamic disciples, whom I’ll name, “The Revelation Delegation,” brainstormed a business plan, which re-scripted all the religions of the globe. Somehow, (here my theory needs more research,) they sold us the revised versions, through which we learned:
a) to memorize lists of sins, degrees of sin and the punishments for them.
b) which foods are “clean” and which foods are “dirty.”
c) that our babies are born permeated with vice and in order to purge them, we must pierce, peel, oil, splash, dunk, paint, decorate or bind them.
d) anything that’s too much fun or feels too good will send us to hell. (“Bingo Night” is okay, though.)
e) if we don’t do what they tell us with our hair, beards and head gear, our souls will stay soiled forever.
f) that shame, remorse, hunger, pain, abstention, untreated illness and Irritable Bowel Syndrome, are all virtues.
g) Good people follow our religion. Bad people don’t. We should try to change the bad people’s minds and make them be good, but if we can’t, it’s better for them if we torment or kill them.
h) Last and most essential, that when all benevolent religious leaders of the world stated, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” they did not mean, to quote from Bill and Ted, “Be excellent to each other” and “party on, dudes.” What they actually meant was, “Do It unto others before they Do It unto you.”
—————
And, that’s just a portion of what I’ve learned about organised religion. If you’d like to read more about this, go to www.patriciaVdavis.com and click on the Writings Excerpts Page. There you can read all about another aspect of certain religions, a thing some of us have never even heard of, but many of us know know well. It’s called, “The Evil Eye.”
I am one of those long decendants of the constitution signers… and protestant at that… but the worst kind… SOUTHERN BABTIST! Ha. I too laid awake at night terrified of the end of the world and the antichrist and dancing and sex before marriage and drinking alcohol and anything else that would certainly send us to Hell if we didn't repent our sins each night and ask God for the grace of forgiveness.
Phew. I am not kidding… I had one guilt-ridden and freaked out childhood… but as an adult… well I believe in spirituality more than religion and God's love for his children more than his contempt of our sin.
Atleast I sleep better now. Ha.
Wow, you answered that fast! Thanks, I really appreciate it. Yes, there's more in the memoir about Southern Baptists, they are in fact listed as the exception to the Protestant 'realxating churches rule.' but that would have made the post far too long to put in the whole section. God as portrayed by pundits is what turns people off to the possiblilty of His existence. After all, how does it make sense that some omnipotent Being,which created so much beauty and perfection woud be so petty? At least some of us lucky ones grow out of this kind of thinking. As strange as this sounds, I think the internet helps, because we get to talk to and exchange ideas with all kinds of people from everywhere. It's going to be harder for politicians and religious leaders to convince us in future that we have lots of enemies out there, if we all get to know each other by talking over the internet. : )
I agree with you. Ignorance is our enemy and I think the internet is bringing enlightenment to everyone across the globe. It's bridging gaps of language, religion, ethnicity, culture, and politics in ways that national peace talks never could. I am proud to be part of a generation seeking out knowledge instead of living in fear.
And I am intrigued about your memoir now. :o)
I also have had a religious- guilt ridden childhood which affected me as an adult. But being Sicilian-American may have had a hand in that also. I am more spiritual now having been introduced to friends of different religions and beliefs and sort of now go with the flow, am responsible for my actions, and be kind to others, and laugh often. My being at ease puts others at ease and I found that in the past when I was uptight in my Catholic religion, if affected my mood and those around me. That is not to say, I hope I have a better affect on my friends and family, but, you know, it really doesn't matter. I believe that God is a loving, just, peaceful and merciful God who really wants us to be happy more than anything else. The whole idea of suffering to gain points with God does not sit well with me. Your blog reminded me of things past and makes me grateful for the present. Thanks and keep writing!
Beautifully said and I hope it's all the difference we need to end xenopobia. Thank you also for your comment about my memoir. I've been a free-lance writer of short works for many years and this is my first full-length work. I wrote about how I (out of girlish stupidity) married someone very unsuitable and ended up living in Greece with him.He pretty much abandoned me emotionally there and then it was up to me to pick up pieces in a foreign country after we separated. I had no money, limted language skills and no family support there, so it really toughened the odds. The story tells this all became the very best thing that could have happened to me. Truly. I wrote it so other women could read it and feel encouraged… : ) My agent has just started showing it to publishers. And even this process has been a remarkable experience. There is so much to it. I've always submitted my work directly to magazines, newspapers, etc., so I had no idea what it was like to have to acquire an agent and get the manuscript 'in shape' to show to publishing houses. I'm learning to be very patient (yeah- right) and to acquire a thick skin,believe me. That's why your kind words were nice to hear….
Wow! this is a pretty good analysis and perspective.. I never knew so many people felt this way. Why did we all have to go through this, I wonder? What is it supposed to teach us? And why does it take so long to learn? haha
seriously, who doesn't have a guilt-ridden childhood???? even if you don't grow up in religion, your parents probably made you feel guilty. hehehe….of course i had the best of both worlds. not only were my parents super-duper religious, but they liked to make me feel guilty. gosh, to this day, i feel guilty with just the tone of my mom's voice… she doesn't even have to say anything really harsh. it could be something kind of nice… but it's that tone of voice that gets me every time. hehe.i still have a TON of guilt, but about different things. that "christian guilt" gets me every time. hehe.hope you find a publisher for your memoir soon! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks for the good wishes, Grace. You're such a great gal. You know, my son accuses me of 'that tone' all the time. I really have to watch that. The other day, I just asked him, "How was your day?" and he said, "What's that supposed to mean?"
My husband claims his parents never made him feel guilty, but I think he's full of it. Women feel more guilt than men, anyway, I think.It's estrogen.Haha I wrote that in one of my first blogs, but Paxton didn't agree. He said he feels guilty all the time, too.
you're pretty swell yourself :Dguilt is so unnecessary, but everyone has it. it's so weird! 😛
Well, what a pleasant surprise to wake up to, Patricia. I can only say that I am honoured indeed. I fear that any visitors to my blog at this time will be sadly disappointed with the content. It relates to Oz politics because we are in the middle of a Federal election campaign.Your excerpts have certainly whetted my appetite to read your book, and I will be looking for it on Amazon. What a fascinating life you have led, and so very different to my rather mundane one! And I am so pleased to now know the answer to the "Harlot's Sauce" question. What an appropriate title for your book, I long ago abandoned organised religion, as I became far too independent in my thinking to be told by a priest how to live my life. I acknowledge the comfort that it gives to many, and that is their right. We all must make our choices in this life.I hope your book becomes a best seller, Patricia. For purely selfish reasons, you understand. I always did want to know someone famous. ;o)In truth, I am honoured to be your friend.
Oh, and I'll reserve some of my best brew for you. You should know that anything older than a fortnight is considered vintage…
Wow! You are so awesome… That's pretty much the conclusion I've come to.We had very similar experiences, I think. I also grew up Catholic and was shocked the first time I went to a Born Again church, thinking they had taken the idea of a religion and ran wild with it in a scheme to make money/exploit "good" Christians.I'll tell ya, nothing like four years at a Jesuit university (one that hires good ol' Condi as your commencement speaker) to turn you right on your heel and back out the big wooden doors of that church.
A Jesuit university? Really? What made you decide to go there? I'm sure you had a good reason to choose it. Did you major in writing? My stepson went to Whitworth, though he' s not at all religious and really enjoyed his education. Met some wonderful people there, too. Not that it matters, but I actually believe in a Supreme Being, but I see that as an extension of the wonderful miracle of the universe. If we can have an endless universe of space and time and no one considers that miraculous, why is it such a far leap to believe it was created by a superior being? But, that's just my thought and maybe it's only comforting to me. What I think is pure evil, though, is people using their version of this (imaginary or not) Being as an excuse to blast the sh*** out of other people's countries and making people feel guilty and all the other 'religous' brouhaha that goes along with it. It keeps people feeling scared, therefore powerless. And that's what it's really is all about at the end of the day- power.
Thank you for all the compliments in your last post, including the one about the title of my story. You can't imagine how long we worked on finding that title, we had several others before we came up with that one.
I think anyone who visits your blog or Peter's will be just as intrigued as I was. When Americans think 'travel' they often think of he European continent. It's well-known to them and not too many hours by plane. Because of its distance, Australia remains a mystery to many of us here. How interesting to read about it from a native perspective. There is also another Aussie, "EvilWombatWoman" who writes really intriguing stuff, too. This is one of the greatest surprise pleasures I've experienced since starting this blog. I had no idea I'd meet so many interesting and kind people from so many dfifferent places.
Honestly, my life is no more interesting than anyone' else's. Everybody, if you really listen to them, has an amazing life story.My father-in-law, for example, has spent his entire life working his family rice farm in Northern California. Oh–except for the time he was in the second world war, then went to Stanford University on the GI Bill and got an engineering degree then helped design rocketships at Aerojet. Not to mention his adventures just on the farm itself. I had no idea so much happened on a land covered in acres of water and rice plants. He is one of the most amazing people to talk to. I did one advant-garde thing- lived in a foreign country for several years and started a business. Others have done far more, and I think that's why I like writing so much. I enjoy talking to people, learning about what they do and then imagining what their lives are like an dputting it down on paper. Still, it's flattering to be thought of as having lived a "fascinating" life.
I hope you'll keep writing about the election and other aspects of Australia( perhaps one day you'll even post your corn likker recipe- hee hee) We're all llistening and it's very educational. Thanks
If you don't mind my asking, what have YOU got to feel guilty about? It seems like you're living an exemplary life to me. We're about twenty years apart in age, so I'll tell you what I've learned in those years – GUILT helps nothing and no one. It's the worst emotion, especially when we overdo it. Okay, in small does it's a good policemen. (What would stop us from eating too much chocolate, otherwise?) But guilt over things we did or didn't do? A waste of time. It's like jealousy. Another thing we're better off without. We can be manipulated by both those emotions. I think you're a good. loving daughter, wife, mother and friend. You're also smart and caring. So, again, what's to feel guilty about?
after i left my parents' church, i found that a lot of my guilt just vanished. i think it was because i was living such a "sinful" life according to the church's doctrines. what? i eat bacon? and i have a glass of red wine? and i've had hard liquor before?! stupid crap like that. i mean… there are things i feel bad about (like how mean i was to my siblings… but i'll have you know that they were REALLY GOOD KIDS growing up. hehe.) and i do feel a teensy bit of guilt whenever i think about steve going to work all day and coming home to a messy house and no dinner. hehe… but then i remember what i've been doing all day and how i'm working ALL THE TIME and NOT just 8 hours a day… then i don't feel guilty anymore… :Psometimes i feel guilty when i complain when i have so much and i am so fortunate and there are so many others who don't have it as great as i do… but all in all, i don't let the guilt get to me too much. 🙂
This is a very clever and astute piece of writing. I'm only on a break at work, so I haven't the time to comment in depth, but I do intend to get back and re-read this when I have time to discuss.I also look forward to visiting harlotssauce.com. Just the name is intriguing. 😉
Oh, well, Grrace you didn't tell me you liked red wine and bacon. No wonder you feel guilty. Haha! Seriously, my husband tells me it's a sibling's job to be mean to his/her other siblings, because otherwise how would those kids learn to cope in school when other kids tease them? So, you see – you can stop feeling guilty about that, because you did them a SERVICE. As for the messy house and no dinner, well, you know what? If Steve has any complaints, (which I doubt he does) tell him to come over here and talk to me – I can tell him what's it's like to have a little one to care for all day and night! Before you blink, Mia will be going to school until three o'clock. Your house will be nice and clean, but then you and Steve both will miss the mess and her daily presence more than you will ever miss a hot meal. (But, if you ever get stuck to make something quick, I've got this great chicken recipe that is made in the microwave real fast and tastes like heaven. No bacon in it , either! ha ha)
This might seem 'gushy' but I'm really quite pleased by your compliment on my piece, because I consider you one of the best writers on VOX. So, thank you very much and thank you for stopping by.
i mean, if god didn't want us to eat bacon and drink red wine, why would he have made it SO tasty?! hehehe…my parents are SDA. which means that they follow all of the rules regarding food and drink and they worship on saturday.well, gosh. i never thought of it as doing them a service before! they should be THANKING me! 😛 hehehe… anyway, steve never complains. thank god. but maybe that's why i feel guilty. hehehe. if he actually complained about it, i could just explain everything to him. instead he's always defending me, telling everyone how *i've* got the tough job and how grateful he is that i sacrificed to stay home with mia… can you believe that guy? how dare he? 😛 hehehe… every evening i'm always debating: should i clean up really quick before steve gets home? or should i make dinner? hrm… and usually dinner wins out because i'm starving. heh. i would LOVE your recipe, though! 😀 thanks 😀
What is 'SDA' This is a new anacronism for me. Well, I do know that even Jesus had a little wine now and again, but as for bacon, you're fighting a battle there, girl, with many religious groups as well as vegetarians and animal rights people! Ha ha. I love bacon, too, but I haven't had it in years, because it's one of those things that I learned I shouldn't eat, I should just apply it directly to my hips, if you know what I mean. Seriously, I'm one of those people who gains weight very quickly, so I have to be soo careful. I wlll send you the chicken recipe in a private message, not because it's a closely guarded family secret, but because it's just easier that way! : ) Hope you like it.It's fast, anyway….
I, too, grew up Catholic but I wasn't really ridden with Catholic guilt. My dad grew up, in Britain, the son of an Anglican minister (who was bi-polar and abusive) but converted to Catholicism when he married my mom (who was a French Canadian Catholic).
I was the youngest of 4 kids and my parents really were minimalists when it came to organized religion. I only remember doing bible study, with my family, as a child…..and I remember ALWAYS being late for church (my mom wasn't exactly speedy at getting ready). But we always went to church on Sundays and we went to Catholic private schools. And even our experiences in school were different due to differing schools.
My brothers had a good time at their school. My sister and I went to different schools because we are 9 years apart and the school she attended, shut down (due to lack of nuns) when I was in grade 3. My sister went to school with fully garbed nuns and they were very strict….wheras I went to school with more relaxed dressed nuns and there were a lot of non-nun teachers as well. Religion class was mandatory but, quite honestly, was one of the more interesting classes I took. We discussed everything and anything in religion class. Our studies included sexuality (including every form of contraception known to man) and learning about all the different religions throughout the world. I was taught to practice tolerance, kindness, and to question everything….by a wonderful nun who was the sister to the Archbishop!
I am not a practicing Catholic because I don't really want to align myself with an organized religion because I think that people screw them up royally. I believe in a supreme being/God. I personaly believe that most religions pretty much sum up to the same thing. I think God presented himself to different peoples in different ways that THEY would relate to. Its people, with their own stupid/selfish agendas that have screwed up the real message and made a mess of religion.
If you want to read a really good book, read Rob Bell's "Velvet Elvis". I love this book and am so glad I found it via this blog post.
I have friends of many faiths and always have. My husband grew up with athiest parents but has become Christian. And I remember, when I was 19 and working in a restaurant, I used to hang out with some girls, one was a born-again Christian, one was an atheist, one was Protestant, and I was Catholic. We used to have the BEST discussions! 🙂 And these days, I have a lot of wonderful friends who are SDA (seventh day adventist). We don't clash over religion becase we all believe in God….but just practice it different ways. Your spiritual walk is personal to you and something you need to get straight with, with what works for you. I don't need to convince anyone of anything. Its about pulling not pushing….and being a living example. Its what in your heart that counts. God is about love not guilt.
What a great comment and a great perspective on God and religion. If only everyone thought like this, the world be a much safer, happier place. I must say, it sounds like you were fortunate to have some very progressive religious leaders in your schools. And I now know what SDA is, because Grrrace mentioned it in her comment, but the anacromism didn't ring a bell. All in all a wonderful and thought-provoking reply as always, Foxsy, but…uh – shouldn't you be decorating? Unpacking those boxes? Come on, girl, let's get to it! Hee hee (joking)
I'm taking a break! 🙂
Okay, I suppose that's acceptable. I bet it helps to know that all your friends on VOX can't wait to see how it looks when it's all done. It really is a lovely place. A flat like that in this area would cost the earth to rent. You will enjoy cooking on that stove,for sure. I knew this was all going to work out for you guys. I'm happy for you.
I was raised in a Greek Orthodox family. What I learned from religion in Greece is that God is everywhere and that we don't need a set of rules that will ensure that God loves us. I almost feel ashamed by the numerous sex scandals and I don't even have to mention the embezzlement of public and private property by church's officials. Now, in the age of 25, I believe more in the spirituality that every individual tries to grow inside him. 10 points for the Satan's orders! I want more saucy satire!
[isto é bom]
I like your imagery, too. "Stones in the soul" as though the soul is a lake, or body of buoyant water…
Yes, those are most definitely virtues, especially the IBS!
So, you also like Bill and Ted? Excellent! Haha
As I said to Foxsy, if everyone felt like this, we'd all be better off. I am greatly afraid of the brainwashing religious leaders inflict on their followers and am concerned that people follwo so blindly, but I do try to make my point with humour, as usual. It's not always easy because, let's face it – these things are not really funny. So many dead in Iraq now over this 'religious war.' Satan if he exists, really is enjoying himself, Ilia!
Thank you . The title of your latest post sounds intriguing. I will be over to visit soon.
I went to Boston College. It's a family school– my grandfather was a professor, my aunts, uncles and mom went there, so I was inclined to attend based on that. I was hesitant at first because I was very uncomfortable with the idea of attending a Jesuit school, but I realized quickly that you could pay as much or little attention as you wanted to to the crosses hanging in the classrooms or the fact that some of our professors were dressed in traditional Priest garb. It was known amongst the student body which classes managed to slip a little religion in them and they were easy to avoid, there were always other non-religious options. I did not major in writing although I spent most of my time composing sketches for my comedy group. I was a film major, which was something I did to get in and out in under four years while not particularly trying too hard. It sounds bad, but I just wanted to write comedy with my friends and make a couple little movies.
I'm looking forward to seeing your films. You're iliving n the right place. As it happens, I will be in Long Beach, near your neck of the woods
I am a first generation Canadian, and though raised by immigrant parents, I was not part of any organised religion growing up. My parents loved me greatly and taught me how to be kind to others and to care about the earth. They also taught me how to be a critical thinker and to never pass judgment on any experience without first investigating it for myself. Organised religion as it turns out, is not for me, just as the taste of Lima beans isn't- and I've tried them both! LOL!Great post Patricia!
Lima beans and organised religion is a unique comparison, but that's why your poetry is so good. You know, reading through some of these comments, I realise that more people than I realised had good religious experiences growing up.