The Bush Administration has a Secret Weapon against free thought of the masses and towards eventual world domination. It’s Britney Spears.
Think I’m a madwoman? Let’s just look at the facts, shall we?
In 1998, a group called Project for the New American Century (http://www.newamericancentury.org ) sent a letter to President Clinton which I’ve excerpted here:
“Dear Mr. President:
We are writing you because we are convinced that current American policy toward Iraq is not succeeding, and that we may soon face a threat in the Middle East more serious than any since the end of the Cold War. We urge you to seize that opportunity, and to enunciate a new strategy that would secure the interests of the U.S. and our friends and allies around the world. That strategy should aim, above all, at the removal of Saddam Hussein’s regime from power.
…if Saddam does acquire the capability to deliver weapons of mass destruction…the safety of American troops in the region, of our friends and allies like Israel and the moderate Arab states, and a significant portion of the world’s supply of oil will all be put at hazard.
The only acceptable strategy is one that eliminates the possibility that Iraq will be able to use or threaten to use weapons of mass destruction. In the near term, this means a willingness to undertake military action…In the long term, it means removing Saddam Hussein and his regime from power. That now needs to become the aim of American foreign policy. Although we are fully aware of the difficulties in implementing this policy, we believe the dangers of failing to do so are far greater. We believe the U.S. has the authority under existing UN resolutions to take the necessary steps, including military steps, to protect our vital interests in the Gulf. In any case, American policy cannot continue to be crippled by a misguided insistence on unanimity in the UN Security Council.
If you act now to end the threat of weapons of mass destruction against the U.S. or its allies, you will be acting in the most fundamental national security interests of the country.”
And this letter was signed by the members of the group, some names of whom are easily recognisable:
Elliott Abrams Richard L. Armitage William J. Bennett
John Bolton Dick Cheney Paula Dobriansky
Francis Fukuyama Zalmay Khalilzad Richard Perle
Donald Rumsfeld William Schneider, Jr. Vin Weber
Paul Wolfowitz R. James Woolsey
So, three years before the World Trade Centre was attacked, with Clinton still president, this group already held the position to wage war on Iraq.
Why didn’t the people of the United States know about this? Simple – the same year, 1998, Britney Spears hit the pop scene. At barely legal age, Britney became an instant international success because the music video accompanying her hit song, ”Baby One More Time,” featured a Lolita-like Spears wearing a girl’s Catholic school uniform, that made grown men drool and grown women speculate whether they could duplicate the look without appearing pathetic. Britney-mania was launched.
How could we think about foreign policy when we all so enthralled by Britney? She performed and we debated, “Is she really a virgin?” “Has she had her breasts ‘done’?” We remained focused on Britney for two solid years. We opened a newspaper; there she was- Britney, Britney, Britney. Is it any wonder we had no clue that an invasion on Iraq was already in the making?
But there was a blip in our national concentration on Britney Spears in the year 2000, when Al Gore protested the results of his presidential run against George W. Bush. There were some strange goings on, weren’t there? Ballots marked incorrectly and unaccounted for, Democrats in Florida, where Jeb Bush, George’s brother was governor, prevented going to the voting polls by state police, dead still on the registries ‘materialising’ to vote Republican, all added up to a suspiciously close margin.
But then, Britney’s new single, “Oops, I Did It Again,” debuted, breaking the record for highest sales in its first week by any solo artist. And while some protested the inauguration of George Bush by holding up placards that read, “Hail to the Thief,” this became a tempest in a teapot when Britney, at the MTV Music Video Awards, ripped off a black suit, revealing a provocative flesh-coloured, crystal outfit. Well, who could pay attention to what George and Al were up to after that? With “Oops, I Did It Again,” Britney ensnared our attention…again. The new administration was off the hook.
However, not even Britney could distract us when the towers fell in September of 2001. We were as transfixed by that as we’d been transfixed by our young diva. We even asked questions, though not enough of the important ones. It looked like the Bush Administration might need more spin control than distraction to mollify the nation. An ingenious propaganda campaign was launched and we were on our way to the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq.
Was it a coincidence that Britney announced she was taking a six-month career break that same year? No more than this little gal is an unwitting pawn in the Bush Administration’s agenda.
Though we had plenty of evidence to support the fact that the US invasion on Iraq was a personal vendetta and money-making strategy for them, none of us wanted to believe our eyes and ears. We saw that there were no weapons of mass destruction to be found, despite the claims. We heard Bush when he said about Saddam, “Don’t forget, this is the man who once tried to kill my Daddy.” We read in every newspaper that Halliburton, the Texas company which was awarded the Pentagon’s post-war construction contracts at outrageously high bids, was still making annual payments to its former CEO, the vice-president Dick Cheney. (The payments appeared on Cheney’s 2001 financial disclosure statement in the form of “deferred compensation” of up to $1m yearly.) Then there were the horrific photographs that came out of Abu Gharib and the soldiers’ testimony that the Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, knew and approved of the illegal tortures there. But we still couldn’t accept that a presidential administration would resort to Machiavellian schemes to get us to invade a country that was really no threat to us. Then.
Instead, we chose to listen to Britney, our ‘nymphette,’ when in 2003, she told us, “Honestly, I think we should…trust our president in every decision he makes… just support that, you know…be faithful…” The same year, she exchanged a steamy kiss with Madonna (self-proclaimed “spokesperson for Judaism,” for which every practicing Jew is thankful, I’m sure) and mesmerised us…“once more time.” The war in Iraq raged, we now had “Homeland Security and colour-coded terror alerts, but we were back to being captivated by Britney.
Still not convinced that Britney is working undercover? There’s more.
By 2004, the death toll in Iraq was equivalent to Vietnam in 1966.Our soldiers faced combat zones every bit as deadly as the ones their fathers had faced in Southeast Asia. But Iraq wasn’t like Vietnam, we rationalised. These soldiers wanted to be there, so we shouldn’t worry about whether we’d sent them to die or be maimed for no good reason. Instead, we worried about why Britney would marry a back-up dancer who was only after money and fame, clearly. “And what was she thinking with no pre-nup?” We fretted over her marriage far more than we ever thought about the marriages of our soldiers coming home in the boxes we weren’t permitted to see on nightly newscasts. But Britney married her dancer and that’s what we remember of 2004.
In August 2005, came Hurricane Katrina. Once again, the Bush Administration was under fire. In an attempt to correct the half-assed job of disaster readiness and rescue by FEMA, the government spent over three million in tax dollars per citizen of New Orleans. Nobody knows who got that money, but one thing is certain – it didn’t go to the citizens of New Orleans. Two years later, New Orleans is still a bloody mess and even the most ardent Bush supporter was embarrassed. For a while, New Orleans supplanted Britney in the news. It was entertaining to see every government official pointing fingers. But not as entertaining as Britney becoming a mother. By giving birth through scheduled caesarean section, she came to the administration’s rescue again. . Was there a medical reason that the c-section of a first child was scheduled only one month after the hurricane hit? Hardly. This was just another way to divert the American public’s attention. And it worked. New Orleans hasn’t been in the news since.
Now, we’re back to “all Britney, all the time” reports. Britney dumping her loser husband, Britney running wild with Paris Hilton (another cunning, bottle-blonde agent for this regime,) Britney without her knickers, Britney without her hair, Britney without her children. On any server’s home page, on any television news station, Britney is inescapable.
She got her divorce less than one month after George Bush signed the Military Commissions Act, an act so reprehensible that it’s being protested by every civil rights group. But he got away with it, because most Americans don’t even know what it is, how it will effect them and thousands of other innocent people throughout world. Nor do they know it was developed in order to legalise other unlawful acts for which the Bush administration was already being legally challenged. We couldn’t know, because we’ve been hypnotised by Britney Spears.
And when the Blackwater atrocities came to light recently, people didn’t know about that either, because we weren’t thinking “Blackwater,” we were thinking “black bikini.” Britney’s black bikini, worn during her “comeback performance.” (The term, “comeback” a misnomer, for the reason that, unfortunately, she’s never been gone.) The whole nation, most loudly Simon Cowell, (a former spy for Tony Blair’s Administration) gave their opinion on whether or not she should be wearing it. The slaughter of civilians in Iraq by a firm of private mercenaries paid by the United States government, went unnoticed by most. (These same mercenaries, by the way, were first on the scene in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.
But what finally convinced me of my “conspiracy theory” was last month’s YouTube video. You have to know the one I mean, because I never look for this stuff, but it finds me, anyway, since the CIA planted it everywhere and we all had to see it. In it, a young man, Chris Crock-of-sh**, cries into the camera to all of us, “Leave Britney alone!”
I have to digress here to say that if this young man were my son, NOT because he’s gay and NOT because his eye liner‘s overdone, but because he has such a pathetic self-image that he CRAVES this kind of attention from strangers, I’d find the nearest surgeon and say:
“Cut out my eyes and give them to a blind child. Take every one of my vital organs and distribute them to people who deserve them more than I.”
And the surgeon would say, “Legally, we can’t take your organs until you’re dead.”
Then I’d say, “But I’m the mother of the boy in the Britney YouTube video.”
Then the surgeon would say, “I’ll go get my scalpel. Do you want anaesthesia or can I do it without?”
Nonetheless, this vid has received over 2 million hits. The perpetrator was eventually offered his own television show. And when did he post this video? You guessed it- September 11, 2007. Six years to the day after the towers fell, when the number of American casualties in the Gulf, as confirmed by DoDs, is nearing 4000 and 29,000 wounded, the number of Iraqis killed over one million and US. tax dollars spent nearing 460 billion.
Simultaneously, Britney’s “comeback single” is number one on the charts. She calls it …“Gimme More.”
So, is ‘Spears Craze’ the result of a media that’s now heavily censored, a nation tragically obsessed with fame and youth, or is she a “Mata Hari archtype” engineered by some zealously nationalistic ‘techie’ with a laboratory hidden in the bowels of the Pentagon? What do you think?
Though the country’s fascination with Britney clearly hasn’t waned, The Bush Administration has another secret weapon standing by, in order to insure the American public’s support. Believe it or not, it’s another bleached blonde – Hillary Clinton.
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This was good and very insightful…who knew?!?! 🙂
It may be satire but it's got more truth then the word would warrant. Over 3/4 of all the media in the world is controlled by 6 corporations. Those corporations are looking out for their own interests each and every day, and they control more than just the media. They have interests in the government, and they have interests in how they want people to think. I watched Shooter with Mark Wahlberg and enjoyed it, but I couldn't help but consider the subtle message in all of it… that the governments wage war for dividends. It's propaganda in it's own way. It and other 'movies that make you think' are really just making you think the way someone wants you to. Who that someone is…
OMG!!! Britney as a secret weapon?! Of mass or ultimate destruction?? Nevertheless, this post is one of the most interesting I have ever read. It sheds some light on the reasons why many American people have minimum knowledge on US foreign policy!
Thank you! It took me all damn day to write! : )
If you type in "Blackwater" and "Project for the New American Century" and hit 'search' what you'll read will chill your bones. Not to mention the text of the Military Commisions Act. I can't believe all this is going on and no one notices! The reason I added the words, 'political satire' was because I was afraid that some people would really think I truly believed the pitiful Ms. Britney is working for the CIA. The fact is, we are working against ourselves. Evn with the media blocked up as you say, all the information on what's going on in the world is right here, at our fingertips. We only have to look for it and not even all that hard.I tell ya, I'm pretty frightened over what's going to happen next…
She's a very tricky little gal isn't she? Hee hee
Even as few as ten years ago, Americans had an excuse fro being so isolated for teh rest of the world. It was distance. Now with the internet, when you can play poker with a guy in Denmark while you're sittiing in your drawing room in Jersey, for gosh sakes, there is no longer any excuse. I once met a student from Cyprus who told me. "Everything in the United States is better. The system of government is better, the economic policies are better, even their propoganda is better. It's so good that no one in the States knows it's propoganda."
just one day?! you are amazing.
Not so much, dear. I'm supposed to be doing this for a living. (Writing, I mean)It should have taken me a lot less time, but it was the best I could do on this one. I still think it's harder to raise a baby than write an article. Especially for someone who's making a good job of it like you are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo I'll back you up by posting this on my blog.
Wow. That's all I've got to say for now. I really need to research this. Thanks.
Sorry, Patricia, but I can't agree. I ain't never heard of no Brittanay Speers…
And aren't you the lucky one! That's because you don't live here in the US! I'm more and more thinking of a move to Australia! I already know the wine's darn good, what else do I need?
I wish it were true, but Britney and Paris get a lot of space here too, more's the pity. I'm thinking hard, but I can't think of anything else you'd need in Oz either. Unless you'd like to try some of my corn likker…
You know, I actually believed you. How lame is that? I set out to write a satire but you out-satired me! Haha Jonathan Swift would be very impressed by you. Um…do you really make corn liquor or are you still taking the mickey?
<grin> A glance at my blog should answer your question…
I'm going right over there now, then….
Britney Spears AKA WMD….woman of mass distraction…. mmmmm
I knew, I knew! excellent post and insights Patricia.
Still reading……
<3 dave
hahahahaha… that must have taken a ton of research to write =) amazing!! needed the laugh!
Ah- you suspected it as well? I should have known. It'll be a cold day in hell before anybody puts anything past you and me. : )
I agree we either have to laugh or cry. Better to laugh. I switched on my laptop this morning and there was Britney again! Front page of the news for something or other… Yeah- it did take some research, but as I told Toe-Knee, if you really look at some of this stuff–Military Commissions Act in particular, it's horrifying what this administration has gotten away with.
[isto é bom]
Diidnt know about Madonna's self proclaimed title….I wonder what the Jews would think as to the fact that her daughter goes to Catholic school here in England….
There is only one thing you got wrong, me dear….Simon Cowell didn't spy for Blair, but for the Tories !!!!! 😉
This is one of the best comments I've ever received, Mrs. Peel! I had no idea about Madonna's daughter. Yes- Madonna was photographed next to the Israeli Prime Minister just last month. I think the phrase she actually used was "ambassador for Judaism." Who's going to be next – Fifty Cent, perhaps?Doesn't that whole part of the world have enough worries without Madonna putting her two cents in? Oh and as for Simon, I stand corrected – my sources said, "Tony," but maybe he's a double agent? Perhaps that's why he wears his hair split down the middle like that? HA HA Anyway, thank you for stopping by. I hope you and Sarita are well…..
Fan-bloody-tastic.Brunettes of America unite. The world needs you.Meanwhile I gotta get up to Snowy's for sum a that likker. Too bad he is in Queensland and I'm 2 years off the big trip round Oz.
Thank you and thanks for visiting my blog. I'm coing over to see yours today.
Ha ha. Oh no, please don't tell me this is going to become a "haircolour war." Just for the record, I have nothing against blondes. Some of my best friends are blondes. Hehe. Well, who knows? –maybe we'll be able to meet up in Queensland someday and all join Snowy for a nip or two.
Omigosh…that's something, not a thing that just anybody would notice too!I wonder who my cousins in Florida voted for…This is fantastic, a great thing to think about, look at, and read!
What an excellent idea.As long as neither of us in incarcerated before then. ;-)Isn't humour an excellent way to get the message across? I wish I was a cartoonist. With a couple of ink scratchings and a short sentence, they can cut an argument to pieces.Keep up the good work.
There's an online magazine called Slate (www.slate.com) that is running a political news video contest you might be interested in. You don't have to draw, but what you have to do is take a real politcal news article, report it and then follow up with a joke about it.All the details are on the site. I don't have that kind of mind, but I would love to see the results…..
In what part of Florida do your cousins live? I have cousins in Florida, too…..
This was great Patricia. I know you put a lot into this. This only confirms my doubts about the Bush administration. I got a laugh at Britney Spears being a secret weapon. All you hear and see these days is the plight of Britney Spears. Quite a distraction, though, but not good enough for me. It makes me sad what we are all going through and much more so, what we are possibly in for. That is unless, there are more like you to make more of us aware of what really is going on. But, there is no one else quite like you though.
I'd better put down a brew in the old still, then if I'm getting visitors. That reminds me, I got to get me some paint stripper next time I'm out…
Hey- thank you for stopping by! I've got some interesting good news on that cook book. I will send you a private message. (I was hoping to get an endorsement from Britney on it. LOL)
Mmm. Sounds like Pete and I are really in for a treat…. What say you. Peter? looking forward to it?
Oh, I forgot to mention when you came by to visit my blog- Britney says thanks a lot for being her body double in the photos I posted of her in the blog. She never looked better! Hee hee
I'm about 2 or 3 years away Snowy.So make sure you rotate the paint stripper on a regular basis. I wouldn't want paint flecks in the bottom of my glass. (You may as well use it for paint stripping before I get there. Then you can earn Green points for recycling).
Sounds like an excellent plan.I'd better start toughening up the tolerance to strong likker. Being a 2 can screamer is not going to get me through the night. (That's Aussie for being a cheap drunk in case no-one else uses the term.)
" Two can screamer." I love this expression! I'll now add it to my lectionary. My American friends will be impressed. Yup- it sounds like if we go to Snowy's we better get it up to five cans, at least.Hee hee
Now which political party endorses 'green points?' It seems I have a lot to learn…
On reflection, I'm thinking this might have sexual connotations. I'd never really thought about it before.Most Aussie stuff does I guess.
A good question, Patricia.Of course the Greens can lay claim to the Greenest approach. Their targets for dealing with Global Warming call for the toughest cuts.Notionally Labor comes in with the closest ties to the Greens but they spend a fair amount of time bagging each other out. In the last election Mark Latham was relying on Green preferences but Howard totally neutered the Green preferences where it counted. I still believe the election result should have been challenged after the Herald Sun published a "Green Manifesto" that turned out to be totally bogus.The Democrats have a stronger claim to Greeness than Labor and they would say a more practical approach than the Greens. The fights between the Greens and the Democrats are more bitter than those with Labor.The Nationals should have a strong environment claim being as they mainly carry the Farmers vote but they generally support farmers land clearing rather than having a sustainable farming policy.The Liberals have been clean bowled by the environment. They used to say it was all fantasy stuff, but folk are considering they have left us exposed to the water shortages we are now suffering. Strangely, instead of getting stuck in to dealing with the problem, they are offering to come up with a strategy "After" the election. After the constant efforts to deny Global Warming it makes them look like they are not serious.
I'm sorry… where was the satire?;)
I looked this up! They actually have an "Aussie slang dictionary" online. It's amazing. No overtones, Peter, so no worries, It's implies exactly what you intended.
Now all this I'm still reading about. You guys are giving me a lot to study up on! ; ) We have far fewer 'serious' parties in here. I think I would prefer your system, or else no parties at all and have each individual candidate have to stand on his/her own merit, rather than garner votes from those who always vote along party lines…..
Noticed it was missing, did ya? Great blog you have there, BTW, Molls…
Oh jeez… well, thank you
Damn. It must be all in my mind.
I would have never put two and two together like that. SO funny… so scary – LOL! Great post… I'm sorry I got to it so late.
Nothing wrong with a good imagination and some healthy wishful thinking. : )
Anyway, I don't trust those online idiom dictionary interpretations, because they have to be concise. There might be something in the origin of the expression that they missed. So, you could be right.
It's always nice to hear from you whenever you get here. I only am able to post once every seven to eight days, unfortuantely, so there's no hurry. Thanks for your comments. Loved the spider poems, BTW….