In my lifetime, I've survived much pain that was deliberately inflicted upon me. As a child, I served as whipping boy to bitter adults, as a young wife, I played scapegoat to an ineffectual spouse, and in my career, I've been the subject of some malicious scrutiny by a few jealous colleagues and frenemies. Believe it or not, those are the people I have to thank for my eventual success. Because not only have I survived their maliciousness, I've thrived. And I confess that part of the reason I've done so has been not only for my own benefit, but out of sheer spite. There is something so incredibly gratifying about refusing to be in pain, refusing to be unfulfilled, refusing to be … [Read more...]
“Subscriber Unsubscribed,” or You Can’t Hide From the Chimp
SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING 101: 1) Collect a careful email list of friends, colleagues, subscribers. 2) Spend a full week culling everyone from said list you think even just "might" not want to hear from you. 3) Spend an anxiety-filled week writing and editing a stupid newsletter. 4) Send your stupid newsletter to list mentioned in Steps One and Two. 5) Check "Unsubscribe" page and discover to your mortification the names of people who forgot they signed up at your website for said newsletter, or whose names you somehow missed when culling your list, such as the receptionist desk at your gynecologist's office. Learn how polite these people … [Read more...]
Consent and Conversations with Young Children (or Why I Ask Permission for Cuddles at Night)
by Alexandra Roumbas Goldstein The other day I ended up staying late at work and heading out for dinner with some colleagues (friends, really and all, for what it’s worth, currently child free). While we were waiting for food I got a text from my husband about how our daughter’s bedtime had gone, and it listed the number of cuddles and kisses I could give her when I got home. I got some baffled looks at this, so I tried to explain. My daughter knows that the last thing I will do every night before I go to bed will be to stick my head around her door and check in on her. My commute is around an hour and a half long, so I inevitably miss a fair number of bedtimes, and therefore … [Read more...]
“No Color”
This is a true story. I once lived with a man in a rented flat that came with white walls. He told me that until we bought a house of our own, we shouldn't waste money painting any colors on those walls, because they weren't "ours." Somehow, we never got our own house. We lived in that flat for ten years. Ten years of no color on the walls. Ten years of no color in our lives at all. I finally left him. And when I did, I moved into another flat with white walls, but this time, the first thing I did was paint them. I put color everywhere---a blue wall in the bath, a red wall in the living room, a faux finish in the bedroom and trompe l'oeil in the kitchen. And when I was … [Read more...]
On Breaking Up and Breaking Through
Stay Strong. And keep walking forward towards a better future. … [Read more...]
What is Grime Blindness?
Grime Blindness is a highly contagious disease wherein the patient suffers from the inability to see or recognize domestic uncleanliness, such as dirty clothing thrown on the floor, crusty dishes in a sink and smelly trash that needs to be taken out. Although women have been known to develop Grime Blindness, more males than females seem to become infected with it and for longer periods of time. It generally shows itself in adolescence, gets worse during one's 20s when the condition can escalate into College Cruddiness, a more severe stage of the disease wherein every young person in the dorm can become infected, not only by the inability to see dirt, but by additional symptoms that may … [Read more...]
Before You Feed Indiana’s Christians to the Lions, Read This
by Lindsey Keesling Indiana. Oh, Indiana. As a Christian writer over the past week since the Governor’s support of The Religious Freedom Restoration Act, I’ve been drowned in a barrage of posts from my Indiana-based friends expressing outrage and dismay at legislation that doesn’t represent them. The comments I’ve heard have ranged from the mild, “I never thought this would go through” to the brutal, “I feel like the state senate has turned against us and they aren’t going to stop until Indiana is stripped down to nothing but spare parts for big business.” For those who don’t currently live in Indiana and aren’t terribly immersed in state politics, let me just say that Indiana has a … [Read more...]
Her Cat or Her Greek Husband? (Satire)
I invented a game. It’s called, “Her Cat or Her Greek Husband?” I give you actual complaints I’ve heard from various women (including complaints I myself made, when I was married to a Greek), and you guess whether each woman was talking about her cat or her old-fashioned Greek husband. Want to play? Okay, then, here goes: 1. He is unemotionally available. 2. He hisses at all the neighbors. 3. He is constantly preening and grooming himself. 4. When my family comes over, he just walks away and goes into another room without even bothering to say hello first. 5. My prettiest friends complain that he sits too close to them, purrs, and gets his hair all over … [Read more...]
Wilson, Brown, Pantaleo, Garner: Four Aspects None of Us Have Considered
By now, most of the civilized world is aware of the two separate cases here in the USA of a white policeman killing a black male suspect during an altercation. They come on the heels of so many other similar incidents that have resulted in the death of a Black suspect or even a completely innocent Black man. While the dialogues have been endless and heartbreaking, none have addressed four aspects of American society that crucially influence how these events are perceived. Until we are willing to admit to and examine these factors, these tragedies will continue to divide our nation, eventually destroying us all: 1. We have been trained to have an “Us versus Them” mentality. … [Read more...]
An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian
Dear Ms. Kardashian: Even though you don’t know me, I feel compelled to write this letter to you, a letter in which, believe it or not, there’s both an apology and a thanks to you from me, a stranger. I’ll start with the apology. Up until a few days ago, I thought I was ignoring you. It’s hard to ignore a celebrity when she appears on one’s Twitter and Facebook feed, whose face is on every cover of every magazine at the supermarket checkout. But I thought I was doing a fine job of it. In fact, I prided myself for not clicking on celebrity gossip, nor commenting on it when I happened to be in the vicinity of someone who was talking or posting about it. Celebrities and celebrity gossip … [Read more...]
Being Brave is Not for Sissies
"Why don't the good cops speak out and ban together against the bad cops?" This was a question I saw posted on social media yesterday. I'm pretty sure I know the answer. It's the same as why good teachers don't speak out and ban together against bad teachers, why good doctors don't speak out and ban together against bad doctors, and why good priests don't speak out against the pedophiles among them: It's actual fear ̶ fear of being called a "rat" by your "tribe" of colleagues, fear of being ostracized or known as a "troublemaker," fear of someone at a higher level in your workplace hierarchy destroying your reputation and your livelihood. (How many of us are old enough to remember Frank … [Read more...]
Lessons Taught by Cardboard Boxes
It's funny how I'm sure I've learned a certain thing in life and then something (or someone) comes along to illustrate that I haven't learned it nearly as well as I'd thought. This one is on the subject of what's really important in life. So, I've been stressed lately because we made a giant move in thirty days. I had to pack up my entire house by myself. I barely had time to say good bye to friends and colleagues who I really care about. Arriving at our destination to a house my husband has owned since before we were married, I now have to clear out my husband's "bachelor stuff" which includes rusty, burned pots in the kitchen, piles of papers and magazines he’s hoarded since 1996, … [Read more...]
What does “The Good Wife” Teach Us About Female Entrepreneurs?
In Season One of "The Good Wife," Alicia Florrick, wife of disgraced politician, Peter Florrick, stands at the podium next to him in a pose we've seen far too often in real-life politics: that of the stoic and silent spouse as he apologizes for his misdeeds which include, in this particular case, sleeping with prostitutes in a sex scandal that is only outweighed in repulsiveness by his corruption trial. We watch as she battles with the fallout from his actions, both financial and personal, and those women who've dealt with a cheating spouse, or know another woman who has, empathize with her internal struggle to do what's right for her children and herself. In my case, there was also, I … [Read more...]