Oscar Wilde, 1882
So a number of people have written to ask me for tips for a successful writing life. (Yes, believe it or not, they have. Why they’re asking me and not JK Rowling is a puzzle, but there you go.) In response, I thought I’d post my rules for doing that here. In fact, on pretty much every point, the points below are most likely the way I’d lead my life even if I hadn’t chosen to be a writer:
1) Work hard.
2) Have a supportive spouse/partner and family. If he/she is not supportive consider that this person may not be the person for you. (I’m serious.) If your family (parents and other relatives) are not supportive, ignore them completely. If your children are not supportive, unless they’re under age 18, ignore them, too. Don’t let other people’s discontent with their own lives taint your perspective, even if you happen to love those people. You giving up your dreams will not make them any happier.
3) Work even harder.
4) Remember every single person who helps you get a step up ─ the people who give you blurbs, the people who leave comments on your blog, the people who review your book, your agent, your fellow writers who show up at your book events, the book seller who hosts your events, the local newspaper columnist who does a story on you, the editors who critique your work (they’re your friends not your enemies) ─ and even if that person never does another thing for you, try to help them at least twice as much as they helped you whenever you can.
5) Keep working hard.
6) Take no notice of anyone who is jealous of you and/or seems to wish you harm. Don’t be offended by those who trash your work, who say “no” to any requests, who ask to be taken off your mailing list, who give you an *unrealistically negative review. If you expend energy worrying about these people, that is that much of your energy used up in a negative way and ─ believe me ─ you will need all your energy. (See points 1, 3, 5, 7, 9.) Also, don’t be jealous of other people’s success. Don’t compare yourself to others, ever. Because what you’re comparing are two very unalike things; what you’re comparing is your inside to what somebody else’s outside appears to look like to you. Again, a big fat waste of energy.
7) Keep working. Now is not the time to get discouraged.
8) In point six, I say ignore the “unrealistically” negative review. But if someone takes the time to critique your work and make a criticism or two that you keep hearing over and over again, it’s time to silently thank those detractors and look over your work with a more critical eye. They took time out of their busy lives to write about your book. Heck, they even spent money to buy your book, and if they’re telling you something, perhaps you ought to mull over. This is a positive, not a negative thing.
9) The more successful you get, the harder you work. Yes, that part sucks, but that’s the way it is. If you have one book out, you should be marketing it, but at the same time, you should be at least thinking about your next writing project. Can you say, “10-hours-a-day workday, 6 days a week?” Better be able to do more than say it.
10) On point #9, if you want to have a life outside of writing and still be successful at it, plan every moment of your day to get the most out of your time. 10 hours a day includes your marketing time as well as your writing time. The rest of the day includes your sleep, your dinner time, exercise, your hobbies, your chores, your time with your family and friends. So plan it out well. Savor it. Don’t waste it.
11) Embrace your workday, don’t resent it. You will be extremely unhappy if you can’t do this one thing.
12) Take time off when you need to and do not feel guilty about it, ever. Want to spend time with your young children, even several years of time? Do it. Want to go away with your partner or some friends? With few exceptions, don’t make it a working holiday. (Unless, of course, you’re in the middle of book tour. Ahem.) Embrace your time off as much as you embrace your work day. Because the definition of “success” is being able to look back on your life without too many regrets.
Anyone care to add their own ideas on the above? I’d love to hear them.
😀
(P.S. Isn’t this a wonderful photo of Oscar?)
Here’s the one I try to live by:
Here’s one I try to live by:
PERSEVERANCE — Believe in your project, your writing. Don’t give up. If you get discouraged, go to this site of famous authors’ rejections, some of them are poignant, some humorous, but all will remind you that no matter how famous the writer, he/she has been rejected at some point in his/her life: http://www.examiner.com/book-in-national/30-famous-authors-whose-works-were-rejected-repeatedly-and-sometimes-rudely-by-publishers.
On my blog (www.natashayim.blogspot.com), I have a quote by Isaac Asimov: “You must keep sending work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success – but only if you persist.”
I love this comment, and I enjoyed reading the article you mention in it. I couldn’t believe all the famous authors who had been rejected numerous times before they got accepted, and for such amazing works! All I can say is I’m glad they persisted, Natasha. Maybe they had a friend like you who told them to “never give up”! Thanks for posting!
I’ve read lots of lists of suggestions for encouraging writers to stick to it, enjoy it for what it is, bear up, bear down, and bear it. This list is better than most. Thank for posting it, Patricia
AL
Ride with me and Lightnin’ on our Year on the Road at http://allevenson.wordpress.com/
Thank you for that, Al. I’m glad you left us a link to your blog. I went over there and had a visit, and am now subscribed to it. LOVE it.
I’m no expert, but my two cents addition would be: sometimes you just have to submit/publish what you have to meet a deadline and be timely instead of trying to make it perfect. For example, an article, column or blogpost about schwarzenegger’s latest issue isn’t going to have the same relevance once the world has moved on to the next big thing if you take too long trying to make every sentence funny or succinct.
Hence the reason I don’t blog nearly as much as I’d like…so off to practice what I preach. 😉
I think this is excellent advice. Perfection is what we have editors to help us with, right? Yes, get back to writing right NOW. ; D
I love everything you said! I am a single mom, so for me I have to take time to feed the kids, carpool duty, helping with homework and so forth. I have had to learn to balance the work and family but it still is hard.
I learned to shut off the negative people years ago, so that is great advice. Don’t let other people talk you out of your dreams, but embrace constructive criticism. I realized a few years ago, I work so I can enjoy my home and my kids so I need to take time off to do that while I am trying to build up a strong business.
I am taking my kids with me to NY on a business trip so I can do both in June. Also I always think I am going to catch up and finish all the work, and I have come to realize that does not actually happen, so enjoy each day while it unfolding and make time for your family and yourself.
You’re absolutely right, Linda! And in my opinion, you are doing a FABULOUS job with balance. It is hard and it never gets easier, and for that reason we just have to go with it and not struggle against it!
I would like to add one which isn’t mine but came from a radio program about writing. It works for me.
“Don’t get it right get it written.”
On those days when you just can’t find that definitive word you know is out there, get on with it and let your brain roll it around in the background. Eventually it comes along when you are not worrying about it. In the mean time keep going with the flow.
Oh, and one more that relates to blog posts. You don’t have to hit the post button immediately. Wandering off for a cuppa then having a final re-read can catch things you missed earlier.
Now where was I? That’s right. Still assembling anecdotes that will eventually become part of my first book to go into print. (He hoped confidently) 😉
What sort of anecdotes are you assembling? What kind of a book are you thinking of writing? I would love to know! : )
nice to see you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hveWFyE3t8g&feature=related
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Thank you so much for tweeting this today. It is what I needed to read, both your article and the comments.
Is that so? Well, now I admit, I’m curious.