If I hadn’t have married the wrong man, I would never have foolishly given up my teaching career to move to Greece with said man. I would never then have been in a sudden desperate financial situation, which forced me to start my own business overseas. If I hadn’t started a business overseas, wherein my poor grasp of the local language, customs and business practices were challenged daily,I’d never have learned that I could be a more-than-competent, creative and tenacious entrepreneur. If I hadn’t learned that I was a competent, creative and tenacious entrepreneur, I wouldn’t have developed the confidence I needed to do what I really wanted to do, which was to write a book and see it published, then another and now a third, fourth and fifth. If I hadn’t written and published books, and weren’t looking forward to writing many more, I would never have had to promote them and myself, another skill which having my own businesses helped me develop. And if I hadn’t been putting myself out there to promote my books, I would never have met Siobhan Neilland.
If Siobhan Neilland hadn’t been forced by a parent into driving a getaway car when she was five years old, (“I did it with long sticks that reached the pedals”) and been taught how to shoot a gun that same year, if she hadn’t been using drugs by the time she was in elementary school and become addicted by the time she was nineteen, she may never have reached rock bottom. If she hadn’t reached rock bottom, she may never have learned that she had the strength to claw herself all the way back up to the top and then some. If she hadn’t done that and then sought out a reason to explain her journey, she may never have come up with the idea to start her clinics in Uganda. If she hadn’t struggled (and still continues to struggle) to achieve that goal, hundreds of newborns and their mothers would never have survived.
And if our paths hadn’t crossed on our individual journeys, one disappointing and challenging, the other downright heartbreaking yet miraculous, I would never have known what a truly strong woman is. I would never have realized that there was another woman out there, another entrepreneur who just like I, wants to generate not only revenue, but as she states it, “joy.”
Siobhan Neilland is an extraordinary human being. Over this past weekend, I had the honor of getting to know her during our session at The Marin Teen Girl Conference 2014, which we’d titled “Fighting for Your Joy.” Though we were jointly credited for this session and though I was the one who, knowing the organizers were looking for an inspiring presenter, had actually invited her to speak with me, it was Siobhan who was the star of the day. She stood up and told a room full of teenage girls that feeling joyful, worthy and purposeful is a “choice,” just as feeling unworthy and victimized is also a choice. She spoke to their hearts and spirits, and while they might be still be too young to have understood what “fighting for your joy” truly and deeply means, I understood it and felt I’d found a kindred spirit in Siobhan.
This Saturday was the first time we’d spoken in depth and with such honesty. But we’d met earlier than that through another fighter, Hyla Molander ,when both Siobhan and I spoke at Hyla’s “Women Rock It 2013” conference. Siobhan also brought her beaded necklaces, rag dolls and women’s clothing items made in her Ugandan village which help fund the clinic for display at my last year’s Women’s PowerStrategy™ Conference where she received a Powerful Woman Award.
“I want to build 250 birthing clinics for women all over the world,” she told me. “But I’ve only built one so far.”
To which I replied, “‘Only’ one? I don’t think there’s another person in this room who’s built any.”
If Siobhan hadn’t lost her own child when she was a very young woman, many Ugandan mothers would have lost theirs. Siobhan has also created Shaboom Cosmetics, a for-profit, all natural cosmetics line to supplement her substantial salary as a consultant for amazon.com. A goodly portion of what she makes at the online retailer goes to fund her clinic and one hundred percent of the profits she makes from Shaboom goes to the clinic, too. (“Every four dollars spent saves two lives,” is what’s written on the home page of the cosmetics site.) She takes no salary whatsoever for her work at the clinic, which between consulting, running the cosmetics business and overseeing the Uganda project, brings her regular work week up to seventy or more hours. Jeff Bezos has no idea what a magnificent human being he has working for him. Someone should tell him, because Siobhan hasn’t. She rarely talks about herself, and has a tough time asking others for help. (Another thing we have in common.)
So, I’m going to do it. There are a lot of remarkable people here who read this blog. If any of you happen to have Jeff’s phone number, give him a ring, will you? Let him know that Siobhan Neilland, his employee, is saving lives in her spare time. Let him know that she wants to build 249 more clinics. Tell him that although he has a myriad of geniuses working with him and for him, he has at least one who has literally made Bad into Good. Tell him that it would be to his advantage to get to know her personally. Tell him that, at the very least, he might want to take her out to lunch.
And so should everyone else.
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